Last year when I was trying to decide if I should continue with this drivel that has become my daily blog, one of the factors weighing in favor of writing the blog was the fact that in 2012 I'd have one additional day to spew my nonsense out into the universe. That did it. Dang, one extra day! Oh boy!I've been giving this some thought (no, really, I have) and decided that today I'd list 29 things I'd like to be writing about today.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. My dad stopped by for a visit and agreed to open a law practice with me; we spent the day talking politics, lamenting the disaster that is the state of Kansas, shaking our heads with wonder at Luke's success and taking full credit for his brains, if not his brawn.
2. My daughter, Priya and her husband Chet, sent tickets for Kimber and me to fly to Australia for a visit this summer. Sydney is lovely in June, I've heard.
3. Rick Santorum was run over by a bus of women on their way to buy birth control pills and had to pull out of the presidential race.
4. Mitt Romney came out as a gay man and, while I love the gay men in my life, I still wouldn't vote for him if he paid me.
5. Frank Martin's head exploded during basketball practice at K State today and his coaching staff is still mopping up the toxic waste in the hopes the Octagon of Doom will be available on Saturday in time for Senior Day.
6. The Kansas Lottery insisted that I have won the Powerball in spite of my insistence that I did not buy a ticket. I may have to capitulate on this one.....
7. Buddy, the Dog from Hell Who Is Allergic To Everything, has been cured.
8. I woke up and somehow over night I lost 90 pounds. Now I weigh what my driver's license says I weigh! Do I have to report that to someone?
9. CB got a hole in one and per our agreement of 12 years, he is going to take me to Tahiti (what with the magical weight loss, I am all over this trip!). Seriously, 12 years ago we agreed that if he ever got a hole in one, we'd go to Tahiti. The fact of the matter is that he HAS had one hole in one and I have yet to see those crystal clear waters.
10. Out of the 100 channels on my television, there was something worth watching last night.
11. The brass at KState discovered Student Legal Services, realized the importance of the program and offered to move it to a professional office. One without drama.
12. A domino tournament has been scheduled for next weekend and all the heavy hitters are coming around to play: Watts, Morrisons, Conklins, Turners, my Momma (except she's not such a heavy hitter, but she provides comic relief). The promise we all made to get together is being honored. I better win, by the way. I don't want to have to cheat, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
13. The new owners of my B and B on Main Street decided they want me to run it. I agreed in record time, my new law firm with my dad notwithstanding.
14. Fred Phelps and all his minions were taken hostage. No one cares.
15. Mandatory naps implemented at Kansas State. Morale soars.
16. President Obama called and said that if Hillary retires, he wants me for Secretary of State. Said something about my bullshit meter and the fact that I have no patience with idiots.
17. I learned the difference between "laying" and "lying".
18. All that shit I have stored in my garage? I found a use for it.
19. Luke explained differential equations to me and I understood completely.
20. Buddy (same dog as in #7) is now perfectly trained. He can sit, roll over, shake, fetch and deliver small packages on command. He is making up for being allergic to EVERYTHING.
21. American voters finally listened to reason, elected only Democrats and prosperity is once again on the horizon.
22. Kimber and I are hired by a travel agency to fly to exotic places and write a blog about our experiences. Oh, and paid very well.
23. I still get to end up with Luke and CB, but I got to live my 20s, 30s and 40s over. Now THAT would make an interesting blog.
24. Fort Hays State University and Washburn University School of Law got the message that I am not going to give them any money and they agree to stop calling.
25. My house stayed dusted.
26. Sarah Palin changed her first name. Thank god. That was one heavy cross to bear.
27. Faux Broadcasting was taken over by the staff of the former Air America Radio. The angels wept with joy. Bill O'Reiley now homeless and someone ripped out his tongue.
28. Russ Limbaugh abducted. No one cares. No. One. Cares. Angels? Still weeping with joy.
29. El Charo (my favorite restaurant) opened a branch in the empty field across the street from my house. I've sold all my kitchen appliances and built a covered walkway.
Enjoy your Leap Year Day!
