November 28, 2012 Practical Joke Gone Bad

When I got to work this morning, I realized that I had this button clipped on a bag that I don't use very often.  In fact the last time I used it was probably in Texas at the Tribunal.  I couldn't let a perfectly good Jayhawk button go to waste so I "shared" it with two of my favorite people:  Nick and Grant, the Supreme Leaders of Student Government at K State.

Yeah, it wasn't too much later that this picture appeared on my wall:

The picture of Satan is up really high and I can't reach it and I'm crippled, you know.  It's in my direct line of vision when I look up from my desk which causes me to vomit a little every time I see it.

Nick, Grant and I came to a compromise of sorts.  We agreed to see who could stand the other's "joke" the longest.  Can they leave the button longer than I can leave the photo?

I am typically stubborn and will do whatever I can to win any kind of bet. 

Tomorrow I am taking a step stool to work.

November 26, 2012 OMG

Thats' right.  Herman Cain.  THE Herman Cain of presidential campaign fame will be on campus tomorrow night.

Thank you Young Republicans.

In case you are on the fence about whether or not you are going to go - - there will be free pizza.

College students will listen to anyone for free pizza.

Even Herman Cain.

Not me, though.

I'd rather drive nails into my ears.  So, it would be just like listening to Herman "Sugar" Cain except I don't have to see him.  Ummm, but there would be an emergency room visit.

Maybe I'll give it a little more thought.

November 25, 2012 Handmade Pay It Forward

If I agreed to re-post a status agreeing to send something homemade to the first 5 people who re-posted my status, then I would get something homemade from the first person.

Got it?

I re-posted LouAnn's initial post and today I got these beautiful handmade quilted place mats and napkins in the mail.  Also enclosed was a candle mat and a Yankee candle - "Home for the Holidays" scent, of course.

Surprised?  You bet! 

LouAnn and her 4 sisters grew up in Dodge City and her mom and my mom were great friends.  They had the best play house in town - Dutch doors, windows that opened, a front porch and a shingled roof.  Oh yeah, it was so cool.  When their family moved from Dodge,  we bought their playhouse and moved it to our back yard.  Baby and I spent a lot of time out there playing dress up in the early days, and smoking in the later days.  I smoked and Baby threatened to tell my parents.

LouAnn and one of her sister and a niece rode in the Bike Across Kansas several years ago and spent a night in Wamego.   We hadn't seen each other in 45 years, at least.  I think that while they were glad to see their old friends, they were really glad that we had showers.  And soft beds.  Or, beds at all!

Now, it's my turn - - actually, it was my turn as soon as I re-posted the "pay it forward" post.  Honestly, I've given it some thought, but I don't fancy myself as a homemade kind of gal.  Maybe I'll learn a craft over Christmas break.  Maybe I won't.  But I'll think of something.

I know one thing for sure, no matter what I do, it won't compare to LouAnn's handiwork.  She is truly talented.  Wish she lived closer so she could teach me how to make these place mats.

Wish I had a sewing machine.

We all know what happened when I tried to make the Quilt in a Day. 

It's still not done.

It's been 7 months.

It's not going to make itself.  What with it being in the closet and all.

Clearly, my craft will not involve sewing.

November 24, 2012 Not A National Holiday?

A hundred years ago today Brother was born.  I think he looks pretty good for someone of his advanced years. 

One year I remember Brother's birthday was on Thanksgiving.  His birthday cake had a big sugar turkey on it.  Little did I know that the turkey was not so much for Thanksgiving but in recognition of his being, well, a turkey.

Brother spends  his time in Wamego making everyone laugh.  He doesn't let the facts get in the way of a good story - - that must be where I get it.  His memory is flawless unless you care about accuracy, which no one in our family does.

In all honestly, he is the smartest human being I've ever met and most certainly the hardest worker.

Things I want to remember to mention at his funeral:

*the time he pushed me off of Pawnee Rock and I hurt my ankle.  Yes, I was in the first grade, but traumatic events tend to stay with a person.

*the fact that he NEVER let my dad forget about the time I got his (Dad's) car stuck in the dry river bed of the Arkansas River.  My dad had never been that mad and never would be again.  And good old Brother kept the fire stoked.

*all the trips he has planned - and executed - with Baby and me:  England, Scotland, Belguim, Chicago, St. Louis.  He's full of travel tips as well; like if you fart in an airplane, no one will hear you. 

Words to live by.

November 22, 2012 I'm Thankful for:

On facebook this year, several of my friends made an entry every day of things they were thankful for. 

It got me thinking:

I'm thankful for my family who keeps me grounded but lets me soar; who never cease to provide me with material for my blog and who have to love me in spite of myself;

I'm thankful for my job where the darkness is gone and the laughter has returned;  I am fortunate to have the opportunity to help students who make bad choices and only realize it once it's too late;

I'm thankful for Barack Obama and all he's done and intends to do for this country.  Enough said.

I'm thankful for my new knee that is slowly becoming a part of me.  I think my new knee is a bit like CB, hesitant to make a long term commitment. 

I'm thankful for Steve, Angie and Chantel of  Heartland Physical Therapy who never rolled their eyes in front of me and have encouraged me on my path to wellness. 

I'm thankful for Kimber and to Kimber.     She is the best traveling partner ever (sorry, CB); she makes me laugh, usually inappropriately; she is liberal, in Georgia, bless her heart;  and she inspires me to be better.  She needs to move closer.  We've talked about sharing a room in a nursing home someday.  Luke has promised he'll arrange it.

I'm thankful for Susan who always knows what I need and has had that skill for years.  The fact that I pranked her house while she was gone for 2 weeks and didn't get man should not go unmentioned.

I'm thankful for all the friends that I'm not listing by name - - that's rather chickenshit, isn't it?  All the people who touch me day in and day out.  And I don't mean "touch" in a "step behind the bush with me" kind of way. 

I'm thankful for the students who hang out in the SGA office and do things like fix my phone (Grant), encourage me in dark times (Nick/Nate) and Emily (you crack me up).  None of you are afraid of dragging me into this century.  When I figure it all out and go crazy, it will be your fault.  I'm just sayin'.

I'm thankful that I live in Kansas.  Oh wait a minute.  NO. I'M. NOT.

I'm thankful for facebook which has allowed me to reconnect with old friends.  Baby is really good about keeping in touch with friends from the past.  Me? Not so much.  I love facebook.

I'm thankful for the 1st Amendment which makes it easier to live in Kansas.

I'm thankful for flavored coffee.  (Well, I am.)

I'm thankful for Miss Gunkle who taught me to read in 1st grade.  I love to read and would be lost without my Kindle or a book under my arm. 

I'm thankful for Mrs. Dunn who taught me to expect the best from myself.

I'm thankful that I live in Wamego, a great little town with loads of tulips. Loads of tulips can not be overrated.

I'm thankful for my heritage of lawyers - my Grandpa Judge, my Uncle Walk, my dad, my brother.  I'm proud to be a lawyer and follow in their footsteps.

I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head and enough food (okay, okay, okay, MORE than enough) in my stomach.

I'm thankful for the 2 (TWO) beautiful redbirds who are in the tree next to the deck.  They just landed and the brilliant red caught my eye.  *sigh*

I'm thankful that CB has the golf course to go to and Luke has the gym which means that I am alone.  ALONE!  I can read, sleep, watch a movie.  Whatever.

I'm thankful when CB and Luke are both under my roof.

I'm thankful for orange flavored vodka.

I'm thankful for Marjorie Conklin's "Better Than Sex" cake.  And that she's my birthday twin.

I'm thankful for the Cotswolds.

I'm thankful that if I took the time to list all the things I'm thankful for, it would take years, decades.  I am so very, very thankful.  For all I have.  For all I've been given.

Did I mention turkey?  If not, I should.  I should absolutely mention turkey.  I'm thankful for turkey.

November 21, 2012 It's True

This is not trick photography.  I did not mess with the hands of the clock.  It's a.m., not p.m.  It's on the internet, so you know it's true.

I was in the office, at my desk, ready to face the day at 8:10 this morning.

Let's not get too excited, though, okay? 

The only reason I was there so early is because Luke and I went to breakfast (he had to work in the top secret bat cave on campus.  We have one.  It's secret.  Well, until now.) and after breakfast I had no choice but to go to work.  Not like I could go back to bed or anything.

I think I should get a cheap apartment in Manhattan for occasions such as this.  Put an inflatable bed in there, along with my cupcake blanket, and I'd be set.

Back to today - -

the problem with arriving at the office at the crack of dawn is that by the time I felt like I had put in a full day's work, it was 9:30.

I kid.

No, really, I kid. 

November 20, 2012 What Are You Looking At?

I was putzing around the kitchen, minding my own business.  Feeling pretty proud of myself if you want to know the truth. 

Luke walked in the kitchen and instead of saying "Hi Mom.  How are you?", he started laughing and said "Where's the camera?"  That should have been a red flag, right?

He took a picture of my feet which caused me to look down and joined in the guffawing!  I had been shuffling around with my one slipper half on my foot and half off, like an elderly bag lady.  Combine that with the ever present boot and it made for a perfect picture of the day!

November 19, 2012 Two Things Made Me Smile Today

This is what I saw as I was leaving work tonight.  It's Anderson Hall, home of the movers and shakers of the University.  Well, some of the movers and shakers.  The rest are in the Offce of Student Activites and Services, i.e.Student Government! 

The sun setting on this magnificant building at the end of a warm fall day on a quiet college campus made me smile.  Could it have been the "quiet" part? 

I came home from work to find Buddy, The Dog Who Is More Trouble Than He's Worth, curled up on the loveseat in a tight ball.  Usually, because he thinks he's human, his 50+ pounds are spread out wherever he damn well pleases. 

Looking at this picture, you'd never,ever think that Buddy wants to eat the mailman for lunch and random Cub Scouts for snack.



November 18, 2012 Happy Birthday, Luke.

Because it's Sunday, Luke and I went to Bob's Diner for breakfast.  Because it's Luke's birthday, we spent our time at breakfast trying to decide how to spend his special day.

I was very happy with the results of our discussion.

We came home and "remodeled" the kitchen.  We moved the bar to the north wall, and the server to the west wall and made the kitchen seem so much bigger.  We went through a bunch of crap I had stored in both the bar and server.  It was scary.  Luke got a glimpse into his life after I die. 

 Then, Luke agreed to put up a DVD rack in the back hall.  Remember the one I hung on the basement door (that fell off when only CB was home and he had to pick up a million DVDs?  When he was NOT happy?)?  That one.

When I was in San Antonio several weeks ago, I got the hardware to mount the rack on the wall.  Then, I found the perfect place for it.  All I needed was the man power.

So, Luke got the rack up and was showing me how strong the basket are.  Then, BAM!  Three of them fell off! 

DVDS were flying, Luke was laughing, I was screaming and not helping in the least.

Didn't take long for the resident Mechanical Engineer to figure out the problem and fix it.

It was a full day's work. 

Just the way for Luke to spend his birthday, if you ask me.

Thirty one years ago, I did all the heavy lifting, so to speak.

It was his turn.

Luke, our life together has been an adventure.  I would not trade a minute of it.  Thanks for allowing me to be a pretty good mom.  Since the day you were born, that's been my goal.

You have grown into a young man whose morals and ethics are grounded and well placed.  You are a tribute to your family, immediate and extended.

November 17, 2012 Party Time

Remember the birthday cake I ordered?  The one where I wanted an arrowhead in the center?

Yeah, this is what I got.

I think there should be a rule that if a decorator uses a computer generated image printed on edible paper, they need to tell you that in advance.

Oh well.  It got the job done!

This is how 4 batches of homemade noodles look when they are cooked and chicken is added.  I can honestly say that it is a butt load of noodles.  The smell of the house?  Was amazing.  I felt like I was a little girl again and my Grandma Flo was in the kitchen.

Party time had arrived.  All the guest were sitting in my dark living room, and Luke walked in the door.  The flash sort of spoils the realism...the room was pitch dark and Luke was hearing "Surprise!" being yelled from what he thought was an empty room.

It was a great evening. 

Too bad the Kansas State football team chose to play football in Waco instead of coming to Luke's party.  They might have had a better time at my house.



November 10, 2012 Birthday Dinner

Do not tell Luke.

I'm having a surprise birthday party for him next Saturday.  He'll be 31. 

I am making homemade chicken and noodles for 14 people.  As you can surmise, the main ingredient  for homemade chicken and noodles, are the noodles.  Homemade noodles.

Today was noodle making day.  And I am a noodle making machine.

What you can't see is all the flour on the floor and behind me.  I'm wearing only about half of the flour I threw around over a period of 3 hours.

The results of all my work:

For years I would put out a bunch of dish towels and dry the noodles on them.  Today I had the brain storm of putting a cotton table cloth on the table instead.  Tomorrow after I bag and freeze the noodles, I'll throw the table cloth in the wash and put it back on the table.  No one will be the wiser.

You won't tell, will you?

One more thing, I ordered Luke's birthday cake from HyVee this morning.  This is a cake he will not eat.  Luke has never liked sweets and he doesn't eat cake, but his momma does.  So there.

Anyway, I asked for a white cake with a Kansas City Chiefs arrowhead on it.  This is what the woman who took my order wrote down:  "KC", then she drew a squiggly triangle on its side.

What are the chances of me getting anything that comes close to a Kansas City arrowhead?

I say ZERO.

But, I'm a fan of cakeswrecks.com so I'm hoping that if/when the cake is screwed up, I can submit a picture to the website.

November 9, 2012 Where Was My Camera?

Two things happened today and I have no photographic proof of either one of them.

At noon today, Paul Mintner (made famous by this very blog last year) popped in to see me.  These surprise visits are one of the best parts of my job at Kansas State.  Paul was in town for a wedding and spent today on campus catching up with his many friends on campus.

While we keep in contact on facebook and by email, it was great to see him in person and be reassured that he is doing well in Iowa.  Paul is doing great things at the University of Iowa; wish he were working his magic in Manhattan.

Paul was able to vote in Iowa so at least one person in my office lives in a state that went for Obama!  And a state that has gay marriage!  Hummmm, maybe that's where I need to retire.  Sort of like paradise, but within driving distance of El Charro.

Lucky me, my day had two high points, and seeing Paul was just the first.

The second was spending the evening at Temple Beth Shalom with my friend, Sheila and her family.  The first clue I had that the evening was going to rock?  Fred Phelps and his band of crazy, brainless, hate mongers were picketing the synagogue!  Oh. Yes. They. Were. 

Worship in a Jewish temple was an experience that I'll never forget.  I sat between Sheila and her husband, David, and they answered my many, many questions.  My breath was taken away when the Ark was opened and revealed what looked like 8 or 9 Torahs of various sizes.  The congregants gave such reverence and honor to the Torah as it was carried throughout the sanctuary.  (Keep in mind, please, that I am using my protestant words, and am not sure they are similarly used in Judaism.  No disrespect intended.)

I loved the singing in Hebrew, fortunately for me the English translation was printed in the prayer book as well.  So much to learn - - Hebrew is read from right to left so the prayer book opens from right to left as well.  At first it was confusing, but by the end of "church", I was getting the hang of it!

There I was in a room filled with people who were open to love, acceptance and tolerance.

All the things that piss Fred Phelps off.

I can totally see why he pickets these folks.

November 8, 2012 Huh?

Let's break this down, shall we?

There are only 2 ways to pay for gas, right?  Prepay or pay at the pump.

There are only 24 hours in a day, right?

So, this sign says either pay at the pump OR prepay 24 hours a day.  In other words, do not steal the gas. Twenty four hours a day, do not steal the gas.

AND, they hope this causes no inconvenience.  Might be an inconvenience for thieves, but for those of us who pay for our gas, not a big deal. 

I didn't get it then.  I don't get it now.

This exact sign was on every pump at the Shell station.  You'd think that someone, somewhere would have said "This sign makes no sense.  At all.  But if Shell wants them, and have prepaid, 24 hours a day, then let's make it happen."

This is how supply and demand works.

Idiots demand.  Idiots supply.

Donald Trump gets rich.  (He's an asshole, if you want to know.  If you don't want to know, he's still an asshole.)

November 6, 2012 Election Day

I love election day.  Ever since I was a little girl, I've been a fan of election day.  Before I started school, my dad was in the Kansas House of Representatives.  Then, when I was in 2nd grade, he ran for Attorney General.  Then his campaign for US Congress in 1974.  He ran for judge and the Kansas House again. 

When he wasn't on the ballot, I was always aware of who was.  My first presidential vote was cast, by absentee ballot in my room at Fort Hays State University, for Jimmy Carter.

My car typically tells the world where I stand politically.

So does my fridge:

Fred Hall was Governor of Kansas.  He was from Dodge City and my dad went to Dodge right out of law school to work for Fred.  I found this bumper sticker in an antique store and knew that I had to have it.

I still have this Kerry sticker up to remind me of the election the republicans stole.  Well, the first one, anyway.  If the repugs start screaming about an Obama victory, I'll have to put this sticker back on my car.

Here's a great sticker.  Kim Clark is an openly gay man who was running for Congress from Ohio.

Kim Clark is also Baby's name.

But don't tell anyone so she can remain anonymous on this blog.

My favorite words today:  President Obama takes another state.

November 5, 2012 Late Night

I had 2 late appointments tonight.  Thanks to daylight savings time, it was dark when I left the office. 

As I walked to my car, I was taken by the sign on the side of the Union; particularly the shadows cast by the gigantic purple letters.  You can't know this by the picture, but the K State Marching Band is practicing on Memorial Field and the strains of some patriotic song were filling the air.

It's been awhile since I have said how much I love working on a college campus.  Even after hours, when the students aren't around in droves, there's a special feeling of youth and energy.

While I wish the environment on campus were more liberal, I'll match our football team against any one's!

November 3, 2012 Precious Cargo

Luke and I ran some errands in Manhattan this morning.  We followed this SUV which was exceedingly entertaining for me.  I knew there was a dog in the back.  You can clearly that.

While I was taking his (her?) picture, he (she?) turned his (her?) head to look out the back window.  I'm shouting at Luke, "Look at that!  Do you see that dog?", even though he is sitting right next to me and looking out the same windshield I am.  (Can I just say that Luke was not amused and I'm not sure why.  I thought the whole thing was great fun.)

Finally, we all stopped at a red light, and there I was.  Nearly close enough to pet that beautiful St. Bernard. 

But Luke had locked all the doors.

The child knows me entirely too well.

November 1, 2012 Sky Fire

Don't you agree with me that there is nothing in the world quite like a Kansas sunset in the fall?

This was the scene outside my kitchen window this evening and it took my breath away.  If  I could see this every night while standing at my sink, I wouldn't mind doing dishes.  Truth is, I'd probably do the dishes!

November 1st means that the holiday season is coming at top speed.  Some years I do Christmas shopping all year long.  Some years I don't. 

This year, I didn't.  Crap.

Oh! Oh! Oh!  Guess what?

I'll wait.

Nope.

No, not that, either.

I WON SOMETHING!

Several weeks ago, I was in Overland Park with my friend, Jennifer.  We ate at On the Border and I bought chances to win several gift baskets.  I just remember that in one of the baskets were Chiefs tickets.  (Even though they suck, it would still be fun to go to a game.)

My name was the second one drawn and I got some theatre tickets, a gift certificate to a bowling alley (any one want those?  I'm not doing a lot of bowling.  Ever.), and 2 margarita shakers!  That's right, come to my house and I will shake you up a margarita in no time.

Speaking of drinking:  I have discovered orange vodka and cranberry juice.  Goes down like Kool-Aid.  I kid you not.  Has a nice Ka-Boom to it too.