January 31, 2012 Reunion Project

The Barnes Smith Barr Reunion and Tribunal is in a little over a week in Port Aransas, Texas. This is a busy time for me because I bring a lot to the reunion table.

Of course there is my stellar wit and uncanny handle on the affairs of the world; not to mention my unmatched cooking skills and ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

But for the reunion, I have much more important things to do as I am the Official Scribe. In that role, I am responsible for the yearly scrapbook, the minutes of the last Tribunal, the agenda for this year's Tribunal and organizing (and binding) all the emails from the past year.

For some reason, which I can not explain, I am ahead of the curve this year. The scrapbook from last year is done, the agenda is a work in progress (it can't be completed until the Judge sets the deadline for submitting agenda items), the minutes from last year's Tribunal have been typed and included in the minutes notebook.

This is all very organized and official. Can you just imagine what I could do if given a real event to organize?

Anyway, all that's left for now is getting all the emails in order and putting them in a notebook. Because emails are printed in reverse chronological order and I am a perfectionist, I go through each email chain, cut them apart and put them in the order they were written. Printing them is a pain in the ass - we write a lot of emails throughout the year. In order to get in this stack of emails, the content of the email must be of interest to the Tribunal and either related to politics or KU sports. You'd be amazed at the amount of time a group of well read, highly educated adults spend on complete bullshit!

We spend hours every year reading the emails and looking at the scrapbooks. This year is #7 so we are getting quite a collection.

And to think that this started as an opportunity to impeach that no good, lying, war monger, piece of shit, Dubya Bush. Even though Bush is out of office, we figure that he was so bad for so long, we could impeach him every year for the rest of our lives and still not address all of his impeachable actions.

Our dads would be so very proud!

January 30, 2012 Bath Day

Things to keep in mind:

It's January.

Its the end of January, as a matter of fact.

It's winter.

Today, the high temperature was 68 degrees.

SIXTY EIGHT DEGREES.  Outside.  Today.

CB and Buddy went for a long walk this morning.

CB played golf this afternoon.

Buddy got a bath when CB came home.

A bath outside on the deck.

In January.

In the winter.

But, climate change is a myth.

Ask Sarah Palin.

Go ahead, ask her.  I dare you.

Crazy bitch.

January 29, 2012 Happy Kansas Day!

A Kansas story:

In 1926, my dad's dad, my Grandpa Judge, ran for Attorney General of Kansas.  He was Assistant Attorney General at the time and was a good friend of William Allen White, the newspaper publisher from Emporia.

Before the Republican primary (that's right, folks, my grandpa was a Republican, but he was the good kind.  The kind that is really a Democrat.  A voice for the poor, the working class, the disenfranchised.  That was my grandpa.), he got this letter from William Allen White.

On August 3, 1926, William Allen White wrote my grandpa, and my brother framed the letter and gave it to my dad.  Somehow I ended up with it.

Here's what it said

"Dear Bill Smith:

The show is closed, the tents down, and the performance goes to the next town.  I want you to know that the Kansas newspapers have been particlarly generous in printing my stuff about you, and a dozen of them have taken three articles which were as convincing as I could make them.  Win or lose,  I am proud to be with you but I think you have got a fair chance to win.  You don't owe me a thing on earth, least of all gratitude.

If you are elected, go ahead, make the best attorney general you know how, and if you are defeated, shake hands with yourself and thank God you are a free man.

Sincerely,

W.A. White"

The letter was addressed to "Captain W.A. Smith".  Grandpa Judge was in the Kansas National Guard and was a captain. 

I love this letter.

Many, many times, I have decided to shake hands with myself and thank God I am free.  And I remember White's words as each polictical campaign ends:  The show is closed, the tents down and the performance goes to the next town.

Kansas is Kansas because of my family.

Well, not the Kansas of today.  The Kansas of today is screwed up.  And my grandpa would be pissed.

Seriously pissed.

January 28, 2012 Something to Be Proud Of!

This is the Flint Hills Discovery Center.  It's going to open on April 14 (guess they couldn't wait for my birthday. Bastards.).  Isn't it a magnificent building?

It came in under budget and before deadline.  Imagine that.

The FHDC will chronicle the geology, biology and cultural history of the Flint Hills with interactive exhibits and other activities.  It's a great idea in a great location.

See that glass circular tower thing in the middle?  That's a 65 foot glass walled lobby!  How cool is that?  The rest of the building is made of local limestone.

It's going to be open 363 days of the year.

Let's see that's my birthday it will be closed and one other day.

January 27, 2012 Damn Dog, Again

You can't tell from this picture (isn't it funny how so many of my posts start out with those very words?), but Buddy, The Damn Dog, was in a dark living room, lying on the blanket I had put there for my very own use.

Today was a long day after a short night. I came home from work ready to take a break and curl up on the couch. I got the blanket and shut off the light.

By the time I turned around, literally turned around, that Damn Dog had taken my place and was not interested in sharing his space. Damn Dog.

You'd think he was the boss of this house when, as a matter of fact and common knowledge around town, I am the boss. Just ask anyone.

Most of the time, Buddy cracks me up, but tonight I wanted to put him up for adoption. It was a good thing CB was around to run interference because I was telling Buddy to pack his shit, he was outta here.

Now that I think about it, if Buddy left, my models for photos would be decreased by one third. (Oh my god. I just did math. In my head.) And the one third that was gone is the only one third who doesn't complain.

Hummmm, that's a reason to keep him around.

January 26, 2012 Sky Blue

What is prettier than a Kansas sky?

Nothing, that's what.

Not a cloud. Not a vapor trail. No smoke or steam. Just a pure blue Kansas sky.

The sky today didn't need any help from a sunrise or sunset or billowy clouds.

It was perfect.

All on it's own.

January 25, 2012 Laws of Physics Confuse Me

Let me be clear about something. I don't know what physics is? Are? All I know about physics is that Luke got a $500 scholarship from the physics department and when he tries to explain it to me he ends up running, screaming from the room.

I can diagram a sentence with the best of them, but try to figure out when a spinning meteor will hit the earth is beyond me. Oh, and the meteor is going to land in water so, really, who cares.

There I was, driving to meet my mom, sister and niece at the theatre to see "Joyful Noise" when I saw this. And followed it.

What I don't understand is how could the car being towed be so off center? Isn't that against Newton's 4th Law of Physics: a body being towed must be towed directly behind the towing vehicle or else.

I kept following this tow truck and waiting for something to happen - what I don't know, but this was just not right.

The driver kept looking at me in the rear view mirror. Could be because I was taking all kinds of pictures and shaking my head.

The things I do so you people have a picture to look at!

Learning physics, however is NOT one of them!

January 24, 2012 What's Important in My Kitchen

This is the white board in my kitchen. I put it up so family members (i.e. CB) could write down things like "We are out of milk", instead of my being surprised when there is NO MILK.

Seven years ago, our daughters, Priya and Louise, from England, left the good morning message. It has not been erased. Every day I think of my girls and wish they'd pop in for tea.

Then, because our damn dog is allergic to air, we have to give him pills. Sometimes we forget to give those pills and need a reminder. CB provided the reminder. On the white board. We hardly ever forget the pills now.

Luke is really in the spirit of the board and doesn't want to go without Tabasco sauce for one more day. When did he start (a) using Tabasco or (b) writing a shopping list? Doesn't matter, he's playing along now.

Now that I am looking at this photo, it dawns on me that very little room is left for actual groceries. Guess that's one way to keep the food bill down!

January 23, 2012 Baking, Again.

Today was baking day. I found a recipe for Lemon Cupcakes with Honey Almond Cream Cheese frosting.

The cupcakes without the frosting were wonderful. The lemon flavor was subtle and fresh and I ate 2 before frosting them!

The frosting was not my favorite. The cream cheese was tart and over took the other flavors. Next time, I am going to frost these with a lemon butter cream. I can taste them now and they are grrrreat!

Surely it won't be long before I produce a cupcake (both cake and frosting) that satisfies me. I'll keep at it and CB will continue to eat my experiments.

He loves when I bake.

January 22, 2012 Clean is Overrated!

Remember the day I cleaned the computer room and was so proud that I posted a picture of it? Well, that lasted until I started working on the Barnes-Smith-Barr Reunion scrapbook.

Just as I am a full contact cook, I really get into my scrap booking. If trash lands in the general vicinity of the trash can, I call it good. If I can choose between putting something away and leaving it out to clutter the desk, I most certainly will choose the clutter option.

But, this is what I know....when the scrapbook is done (and it almost is), I'll put the room right again. I promise. In fact, I promise to post a photo of everything back in its place.

One more thing, that item in the lower right hand corner is indeed a red and blue fur lined jock strap. I have to do some alterations on it before the reunion, so I'll post a photo and tell the story. Stay tuned for that.

No, really, stay tuned for that. Where else on the entire internet will you be able to read about a red and blue fur lined jock strap that needs to be altered? No where. That's where.

In case you need more incentive, it needs to be altered because it's worn on someone's head.

Oh yeah. You'll be back.

And don't you wish you were coming to this reunion?

January 21, 2012 Damn Puzzle

Remember the puzzle I got for CB for Christmas?  It was of our little town with the center piece shaped like a house indicating where on the puzzle our house would be.  Great idea, don't you agree?

It sucked.

Wamego is the little tiny dark area in the middle.  The rest of the puzzle, the part that looks like spilled milk, is the nothingness that is Pottawatomie County.  Add to this the fact that the printing is very, very small and makes no sense whatsoever, and you the recipe for a puzzle that will kick your ass.

We've been working on this damn thing for weeks, months, maybe even years.  Today, I decided to watch the KU-UT game with CB and see if I could make some progress on this silly thing. 

WIBW didn't have a signal so we had to listen to the game (while watching another game and that damn near made my head explode) which was okay because I just worked on the puzzle.

Now, before you are all impressed that the puzzle is done, I need you to know that I worked on it from 3:00 until 10:30.  I'll wait while you calculate how many hours I spent on this damn puzzle.  

If your math is correct, I spent 4 days, 16 hours, and 37 minutes on it.

Oh, it's sort of cool when it's all done.

But not worth it.

By the way, when I am bitching about having too much to do before we leave for the 7th Annual Tribunal and Reunion in a month, remind me of the day I spent in the basement putting this puzzle together, okay?

That will make me feel better.

Or not.

January 20, 2012 Some of the Tea in China

A lovely international student from China came to see me today.  She had been home over the Christmas break and returned to Manhattan with a gift for me.  (I must confess that I often tell international students to bring me something when they return from a trip home.  Like you wouldn't if you were in my shoes.)

This time, my gift was a bronze colored tin box full of Chinese tea.  The tea is vacuum packed in some kind of aluminum pouch.  The actual tea itself is in a cellophane bag and is loose.  It sort of looks like marijuana, if you want to know the truth.  And I am sure that you do. 

Are you asking yourself how I know what marijuana looks like? Is that really something you need to know?  I didn't think so.

When I told the young Chinese woman that I was going to have a cuppa this evening, she laughed and said that I would not sleep!  This must be morning tea and I can't wait to try it. 

Often an international student will tell me that if I ever get to their country, I am welcome to stay with their family.

I'm waiting for a student from Tahiti.

January 19, 2012 My Dad. My Hero. Part 2.

I am lucky because my dad and I were very, very close. I spent a lot of time with him as a child and as an adult. When my parents divorced, I moved in with my dad and he and I faced the world together.

When he ran for judge and for the Kansas House of Representatives (this time as a Democrat), he and I campaigned together for hours. When he ran for Congress in 1974, I drove him all over the Big 1st District. You learn a lot about a guy when you are his driver! (I might mention that he had nerves of steel. He had me as a driver. Nerves. Of. Steel!)

Dad got a new camera shortly after my stepmother died in 2000 and it had a timer. I remember taking this picture with the timer and my dad thinking it was so great to have both of us in the picture. Dad took some amazing photos of the canyon lands in Utah, the beaches of Mexico and Hawaii and Kansas sunsets.

This picture hung in Dad's courtroom after he retired from the bench. I love this picture of my dad. I think he has kind eyes; but, I've seen lightening bolts shoot from those eyes on occasion. This is how I remember my dad.

My dad, as you know, walked everywhere. Even though every step hurt and it would have been easier to drive, my dad walked. And when the weather was cold, he wore a Stetson hat. Always. When he ran for Congress, his campaign photo was him in a hat and overcoat, shaking the hand of someone.

When I cleaned out the last bits of his belongings at his house in Dodge, I found this hat. Somehow, it found it's way to this shelf and it's been here for 7 years. I smile every time I see it.

(The blocks are in memory of our dog, Maxine. The $7 Border Collie we had for 14 years. )

My brother was given the flag that covered Dad's casket and he gave it to me to keep. My dad earned this flag the hard way. He was severely injured while on the way to Berlin where the 82nd Ariborne Division was to be the army of occupation. Broken legs, broken back, broken hip, broken arm and a head laceration, he was left for dead. He woke in a German hospital and it was several weeks before his parents knew where he was. We have a telegram from General Eisenhower explaining my dad's whereabouts and condition.

He arrived on a hospital ship in New York. After spending the voyage in the bowls of the ship in a body cast, Dad remembers being taken on deck to see the Statue of Liberty. He was then put on a train for Fort Carson in Colorado Springs. He told me that a nurse asked him if there was anything she could do for him and he told her "I'd like to go to sleep and wake up in Colorado Springs." She made that happen. He remembers nothing of the trip.

For the rest of his life, my dad was in pain. He had 5 total hip replacements and one total knee replacement. Every step he took hurt. He managed his pain with grit and determination, and an occasional aspirin. Perhaps a vodka and grapefruit juice (or 2) in the evenings helped.

My brother, sister and I have exchanged emails over the past several days reflecting on our dad and what being raised by him has meant to us. We all miss him but acknowledge that his energy, his essence, is not gone. It's inside us and is present in everything we do.

At Dad's funeral, we read this poem by Henry Van Dyke.

"I am standing upon the seashore.

A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength.

I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?" Gone from my sight. That is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

"Here she comes!"

And that is dying."

I miss you, Daddy.

Keep smiling down on me (and keep those nets loose for KU!)

January 19, 2012 My Dad. My Hero. Part 1

My dad died 10 years ago tonight. I miss him every day. He was quite a guy.

This evening, I walked around my house and took pictures of the pictures I have of my dad. I know it's kind of silly, but why should today's pictures be any different than any other day?

This is my dad's family when he was a kid. I think my grandpa was Attorney General when this photo was taken, although he might have already been on the Supreme Court. Anyway, he's the cutie patootie middle child (just like me, incidentally). I love this picture. My grandma looks like she handles this family of men with one hand behind her back. I think she probably did. My grandpa never learned to drive, Grandma Ada drove him everywhere. (No, I don't know why I even mentioned that, but I did and it's my blog, so there.)

This was my dad's senior high school picture. He was just months away from joining the Army and was, in all honesty, in the final years of living pain free.

Here's Dad when he was home on leave. Doesn't he look like he could win the war single handedly? He did, you know. Win the war single handedly. What a guy.

After the war and law school, Dad and Mom moved to Dodge City. A local artist drew this portrait of Dad for the Ford County Fair. He got a red ribbon and my dad got the portrait. This hung in our basement when I was growing up. I considered it "fine art" for many years. Guess I still do!

Years and years later, in 1985, I graduated from Washburn University School of Law, the same law school that produced my Grandpa Judge, my Uncle Walk, my dad and my brother. My graduation day was a big deal. When I crossed the stage to get my diploma, my dad was waiting there for me. He took my picture, gave me a hug and said "I feel like I just got a raise." You see, he had paid all my tuition and book expenses for my 3 years of law school. What a sentimental guy he was!

That's me in the middle. The one who looks so young and inspired. You would not be able to use this picture to identify me today. Or my brother. I'm just sayin'.

This blog only lets me add 5 pictures per day, so I have to divide this post into 2 parts.

Check out Part 2 for more!

January 18, 2012 Why I Like Being a Grown Up

At 8:30 tonight, I had my jammies on, was in bed watching TV (I love Wednesday night television. "Modern Family" is the bomb!) and had a desire for some warm chocolate chip cookies. "Warm" being the definitive word.

Sooo, I got up and made some!

This would never, ever had been tolerated when I was a kid. Okay, the truth is that I would never have thought to get up and actually bake cookies, regardless of the time!

I love being a grown up and baking anytime of the day, or night! Warm cookies, cold milk.

Oh yeah. It was wonderful!

If you are quiet, you'll hear me laughing about this second picture. When I saw these two vehicles parked so close together, I drove around the parking garage until I could pull in and take a picture.

I was cracking up and wondering who pulled in first and how skinny did that driver have to be and how pissed the other driver, who I am totally sure is not skinny, would get into their vehicle and why would you park so close to someone anyway and how really did the driver get out of their vehicle?

But then, when I loaded the picture onto my blog, I realized that the driver of the car on the right got out on the right. The driver's doors are not side by side. Why in the world did I think they were? What was I even thinking? I am such a dumb ass.

I am laughing as I write this. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking? I thought it was such a great picture and I was thinking about what I would write. I was all "oh I bet the driver was so skinny and thought it would be funny to park so close to another car. One more reason I hate skinny people and think they should all be sent to live in Texas." I was having such righteous indignation for the poor driver of the other vehicle.

But now, I see that what I thought I saw was not at all what I actually saw.

I'll pay closer attention next time.

I did have a good laugh.

Along with a warm chocolate chip cookie.

January 17, 2012 And He Cooks!

Like every other night, I came home from work, pulled in the garage, put the door down and headed in the house. Something was different tonight though.

Tonight there was something in the air.

CB had been busy in the kitchen!

After 12 years together, CB has tipped his culinary hand only twice: he cooks a mean pot roast and his breakfasts are second to none. Oh, there's the steaks and burgers, but every man does those, right?

Tonight, I discovered that CB can make chili!

He did a great job - - he even went to the grocery store and everything! the chili was really good and it was the perfect meal on this cold day.

Let's see, if we have roast on Monday, chili on Tuesday, breakfast for supper on Wednesday, burgers on Thursday and steaks on Friday, I've got it made!

January 16, 2012 Secret Mission/Secret Message

Luke and I went on a top secret mission today. It's so secret that I can't tell you about it. Now. But, the day is coming when I can tell you everything. Every. Thing. Only not today.

It will be worth the wait. I promise.

Anyway, I can't tell you why we were where we were, but I did see this while we were there....

Some great kid wrote "I love you Daddy" in the dust on the passenger door of Daddy's van.

This made me smile because some little kid felt this way about their Daddy and because it's clear that the little kid is just mastering writing with a pencil, much less with their finger in the dust on a car!

But, really, what made me smile is a memory....a memory of writing on a car. Only not in the dust and not with my finger.

The year was 1974 (maybe 1975), I was old enough to know what I was doing and, probably, know better.

I spent the summer and many weekend nights babysitting for a particular family. (The same kids who I rediscovered and met in Colorado in December.) Their dad was a HUGE Oklahoma University fan, still is. And he had a sweet car. A very sweet car. I think it was Charger; it was blue with a black top.

As I look back, I can't believe that they let me drive their car. Or look after their kids, for that matter.

Anyway, on the dad's birthday, I got a can of shaving cream (you know where this is headed, right?) and I wrote all over that sweet car. I didn't just spray the shaving cream on it, I WROTE on the car. I wrote "OU Sucks" and I wrote "Happy Birthday (and inserted the name his 3 year old son called him)".

There was NO doubt who had done this little bit of criminal damage to property.

I did not know that shaving cream would interact with the paint on that silly car and turn it dark so that when the shaving cream was washed off, my messages of love remained. In the paint. After all traces of shaving cream had disappeared. SHIT!

There was some kerfuffle with the insurance company refusing to pay without a police report, and the hesitation of the car owner to file said police report (and risk losing the best babysitter in the entire universe). My dad stepped right in, told the car owner's to file the police report (YIKES! My dad was selling me down the river?) which I am not sure they even considered. Instead, a buddy (isn't it great to have a buddy?) with a car buffer, buffed all traces of "OU Sucks" off that damn car.

Since that day I have NEVER , ever, ever put any kind of substance on someone else's car. Ever. In fact, I am the one you want in charge of your car at your wedding.

But, if I ever did do something to someone's car (which I totally would NOT do) I know, now, not to write something on that car which would be tantamount to signing my fricking name.

In my list of youthful indiscretions, this one is close to the top of the list.

The one at the top?

Another story for another day.

January 15, 2012 It's REALLY My Car

You know how a car becomes "yours" after you spill something in it? Or drive across the barren wasteland of western Kansas in a blizzard? Or get your first door ding?

My car becomes MY car when I make it my personal political billboard.

Much to CB's consternation, it didn't take long for me to get my Obama and Human Rights Watch stickers on my car.

I have several motivations for bedazzling my car in such a way.

First, I can tell any sack boy at any grocery store, "Mine is the car with the Obama (Kerry, Edwards, Dukasis, Clinton, you get the idea) sticker." They'll find the right car. It's not like there are many choices.

Second, the yellow equal sign of Human Rights Watch makes the dumbasses in this state think I am a math professor and generally wave and act real friendly. Then they get close enough to see the Obama sticker and their heads explode. For every rightwing exploding head, I get a gold star in my crown.

Third, it is important that the majority know that there are others sharing their space who do not agree with them. I happen to be one of those.

About my support for Obama, let me say that the rat bastards the repuglicans have paraded out as their presidential contenders makes my stomach churn. I can not imagine under what circumstances I would vote for any repuglican (that's right ANY repuglican) for president. Across the board they are an evil, despicable, money grubbing, child eating, short sighted bunch of mental pygmies (sorry about that, pygmies). Not to put too fine a point on it.

You know those people who say "I vote for the person, not the party?" They're full of shit. If the canidate is of the party that hates poor people and old people and students and the middle class and diversity and health insurance for everyone, then you better vote for the Democrat. You will save yourself, and your country, a lot of heartache in the long run.

Glad I could help.

January 14, 2011 It's Not What You Know...

it's who your son knows.

Like many things in our house, shortcuts were taken when these roll out shelves were put in the kitchen.

When we moved in, one was broken completely and the other one waited for a year or so before breaking and causing me all kinds of grief.

While Luke was off for Winter Break, I asked him to see if he could fix the shelves because I love a good roll out shelf. Don't you? One of my great joys is not having to bend over very far to get my rolling pin...or the toaster.

Luke checked out the situation, devised a plan, went to The Home Depot. Then he called his friend, Ryan, who is a carpenter!

Ryan came over and "helped" Luke fix the shelves. They roll out. They roll in. They could hold 100 pounds if they needed to. Which they don't.

I spent the evening rolling the shelves in and rolling the shelves out. CB made some comment about me being easily entertained.

All it cost me was a batch of chocolate chip cookies which Luke delivered warm to Ryan and his family.

Apparently Ryan wanted to know if there were other jobs which needed to be done, say, on a weekly basis?

January 13, 2012 I Learned Something New!!

You are going to love, love, love my new skill. Maybe.

I just figured out (all on my own, I might add. I am so very, very bright.) to scan old pictures and put them on my blog.

For months I've been working on this and could only get half way, i.e. I could get the photo scanned but then I could never find it again.

Tonight, thought, tonight the stars aligned and the angels sang with gladness. SHHHHHH, you can hear them if you listen......

This little darling is me. I was 4. I was a ballerina. I was a graceful as a gazelle. On steroids.

A couple of comments about this picture should be made and I'm just the one to make them.

What's up with that horrible wallpaper? It's bad enough on it's own but the curtains had to match? It's a wonder any of us could keep our food down when eating in a dining room with this color scheme.

If you look closely, and I'm sure you are, you will see that I have a halo which matches the glitter on my leotard. Me, at 4, an angel. Oh, that all fits.

What you don't know about this outfit is that I wore it without underpants and was MORTIFIED. In 1961, a lovely little girl such as myself never went without underpants. In fact, my underpants were often what I wanted to show to visitors. But, there was something about my underpants being longer than my leotard and compromising my ballerina look.

My mom made the tutu and I loved it. Loved. It.

Then I discovered baseball gloves, basketballs, and rope swings.

My dad was relieved. The one dance recital he attended about did him in.

January 12, 2012 Staying Connected

Our house is tall and thin - sort of like me, only tall and thin. It is impossible to be in one of the bedrooms upstairs and be heard in the basement. This situation always arises when I am upstairs and I need CB to get the phone or come upstairs or tell me what channel a basketball game is on. It rarely arises when CB needs something.

There are a couple of reasons for this. First, far be if for me to haul my lazy ass downstairs unless food is involved. Second, CB is not above tootling upstairs if he needs to.

So, it makes complete sense that CB got portable intercoms for Christmas. Isn't that the rule of gifts? That you should get something for someone that you would want to get for yourself? Yes it is too the rule. Just ask any mother. Okay, just ask my mother.

Let's see, the installation of the intercoms involves taking them out of the box and plugging them in. Pretty scientific stuff , glad we have an engineer in the family.

Got them plugged in today.

There I was minding my own business, reading a book, curled up with Buddy, when the voice came out of nowhere "HHHEEEEEELLLLOOOOOO?????"

Scared the shit out of me.

CB thought it was hilarious.

I may be sorry that this was my choice for a Christmas present.

January 11, 2012 Use Your Imagination

Well. This picture doesn't really tell the whole story. In order to get the full impact, please do the following: spray yourself ever so lightly with the hose sprayer in the kitchen sink, stick your damp head in the freezer, purse your lips together and make a WHOOSH noise, sort of shake your head back and forth.

Then, if you don't have a frost free freezer, take some of the frost from the inside of the freezer and throw it on the floor and jump around so you get the illusion that the frost is blowing across the ground.

Yeah, That's what it was like today when I was driving home.

Growing up in Dodge City, my brother and sister and I would walk to school and home every day. Dad would walk to school with us, but we were on our own walking home at lunch, back to school and home after school. We lived about a mile away from Central School and could make the walk in about 10 minutes. I took 4 steps to each of my dad's and we walked no matter what the weather.

Anyway, that's just to set the stage for this...

When it would snow and my sister and I would walk together, we played this game. Not a game, exactly, but sort of. Okay, you know how the snow goes across the streets and roads in streaks? And if you are walking along, you could jump over the snow as it blows along?

Come on, people, use your imaginations. Don't make me do all the work here.

My sister and I would run along Avenue A and leap over the streaks of snow, "snow snakes" we called them. We wouldn't want to get touched by a snow snake so we'd run and scream and jump and skip. It was great!

I can't see blowing snow without thinking of snow snakes.

And walking to school with my sister.

And a life that was much simpler.

January 10, 2012 Pennies from Heaven

Ever since my dad died in 2002, I've saved all the money I've come across on the ground. At first I kept it all in a shot glass (which was appropriate as my dad liked a nip or two in the evening, and he always used a shot glass. None of that eyeballed the vodka level for him...), then I had to transfer all the coins (and a few bills) to a larger bowl.

When I was little, I knew that my mom's dad, Grandpa Glen, would save all the money he found, label it and store it away. I have a penny that he found on the day I was born. He taped it to a piece of paper and wrote "Sara Leigh's birthday, 4-27-1957". I have it in a shadow box.

For a long time, I did the same thing and still come across little boxes containing pieces of paper with money taped to them. Each has a date written on it, some even say what I was doing, or where I was. It's a bit like finding treasure.

Now, though, when I find money on the ground, I remember the old saying: When an angel misses you, they toss a penny down from heaven.

I hope that's the case because, if so, my dad misses me as much as I miss him.

While it may be my imagination, and if it is I'm okay with that, sometimes I find a penny when I really need it. That is, when my heart really needs it.

I miss my dad a lot. There are hundreds of conversations I need to have with him. Maybe thousands. More likely millions. Questions I need to have answered. Advice I need to hear. When I come across that coin on the ground, my dad feels closer. Perhaps it's because at that moment, I consciously think about him and have a little bit of a chat.

It's true, I could do this about anything....anytime I see a Jeep like he used to drive, or see a flag, or see a G.I., or go by a courthouse, or work in the yard (oh, if it were that last one, I'm afraid my dad and I wouldn't talk very often!). But, I choose to do it when I find coins.

CB, Luke and I were in London in 2004. I was especially missing Dad and wishing I could call him and share the excitement of our trip. We were standing in line to buy tube passes and I looked down. There was a 25 pence coin on the ground. So, you see, it doesn't even have to be "American" money!

While walking in to the Kansas Judicial Center to argue my first case in front of the Kansas Supreme Court, I found a penny in the parking lot. I felt just a little more confident with that penny in my pocket and my dad felt just a little bit closer.

No matter how I'm feeling, finding a coin on the ground always, always brings a smile to my face.

Sort of like finding an Easter egg, except it's not chocolate and I'm not 6 years old.

So, don't pass by that penny,

When you're feeling blue.

It may be a penny from Heaven

That an angel's tossed to you.

January 9, 2012 Oh How I Ate Today!

Before I left for work, I asked CB what he wanted for supper. That's a tough question at 7:30 or 8:00 a.m., I know. We agreed on some kind of chicken, so I took a freezer bag of legs and thighs out to thaw and hoped for inspiration.

Today I got to eat lunch with my pal, Paul Mintner of Say Cheese! fame. Couldn't find my camera (what's up with that?) so I don't have a picture of the 2 hour lunch we had at La Fiesta. The food was yummy and the conversation was the best in town.

It was Paul's birthday, sort of. Somehow I didn't know his birthday was January 3. Oops. What kind of Manhattan Momma am I, anyway? I promised him a homemade dinner at the time of his choosing and will cook my way back into his heart!

Luke called midafternoon with his daily question: "You cookin' tonight?" When I told him I was and that the meal was going to be chicken based, he suggested BBQed chicken, out on the grill, in January!

Why not?

So, here's proof. Chicken ready for the grill. Covered in Pinzey's Spice Great Northern seasoning.


CB is the griller in the family, I must admit. My dad was the griller as I was growing up. Women didn't do much of the outside cooking....too busy running the house, I guess.

Anyway, I threw all that raw meat on the grill, over indirect heat, and let nature take its course.

Which it did.

And it was wonderful.

January 8, 2012 Date Night for the Elderly

Actually, our date night started this morning when we all went out for breakfast. In the last several years I have discovered something that will make Luke wake up with a smile on his face: knock on his door and tell him we're going out for breakfast!

He is ready in record time and off we go.

Since I got so much done yesterday, when we got back from Manhattan, I decided to finish a book and didn't feel the least bit guilty about "reading" (readers from last year know that means sleeping).

That is, I didn't feel guilty until I realized that I had slept for 4 hours! And CB was due home from the golf course and a shower, which had been on my list of things to do, remained undone.

It was like having a party with your parents gone and finding out they were in Spearville and headed west. Oh, not like that ever happened to me. Or my brother.

It was a blur of assholes and elbows around here as I got up, made the bed, took a shower, got dressed and cleaned up my side of our bedroom that previously looked as though a family of migrant Mexicans had taken up residence. Whew!

CB came home and we were off for a night on the town.

Now, when you are my age (CB is 3 years younger than I am, and he won't let me forget it. Bless his heart.) you want the early movie for a couple of reasons: first, it's cheaper. I remember going to the movie as a kid for a quarter and popcorn was free (not really, but it sounds so good....). Cheap at the movies is not something that happens very often so I do what I can to keep the costs down. That includes taking my own soda. What's that you say? It's illegal to smuggle in drinks? Who knew? I still don't.

Second, if a movie starts early, there is every possibility that I will remain awake for the entire thing. Not a guarantee, mind you, just a strong possibility.

Third, if the movie is early the caffeine in the drinks I have smuggled in and consumed will not keep me awake.

So, we went to the 6:30 showing of "Sherlock Holmes 2" and really enjoyed it. The movie was fast paced and funny and the gigantic barrel of popcorn we bought was simply the icing on the cake! You see, you buy this barrel and get it filled up for $17 (keep reading......) but for the rest of the year, you get it filled up for $3. I know it's still highway robbery because the popcorn costs about 2 cents to make, but there is something about movie popcorn that makes my heart sing.

All in all it was a great day.

Topped off with popcorn!

January 7, 2012 This is What a Saturday Should be Like

This is the first Saturday in a long, long time that I have felt like doing much of anything, so I decided to pack as much as I could into today.

Remember back in 2011 when I thought about cleaning the computer room? But then I thought again and it never got done?

Today it did. I didn't take a Before picture frankly because I was too mortified to post a photo of how bad this room had become. Being the first room in the back hall, it tends to gather all the shit that is in limbo...that is, shouldn't be in the garage but really no place for it in the house.

For example: a box of stuff that I shipped to Kimber for our June trip to Hilton Head and which she shipped back to me in August, open but not unpacked. Then there was a stack of stuff from my American Government class which needed to be filed away. Oh, and a huge stack of scrapbook paper which some how gathered on the desk instead of the trays in the closet. The dust was so thick that when I tried to dust, it turned to mud. Ey, yi, yi. What a mess.

Here it is all nice and clean.

Luke came along a little while later and vacuumed the floor. That boy loves the new sweeper. My carpets have never been cleaner. Now, if I can just get him to love cleaning the bathroom.

When CB came home from the golf course he and Buddy went out in the backyard. It seemed to me that they were out there for quite a while. When I checked on them, I spied CB doing what father's do....picking up dog poop.


Buddy is looking for a spot to drop his next load.

In the interest of full disclosure: I will do a lot of things for and to Buddy. Picking up his poop in our backyard is not one of them. BUT, if we are at a park or on a walk, I absolutely will clean up after him. Oh, I also don't walk in the backyard barefoot. Just sayin'!

Then, I baked some cupcakes. I tried (with relative success) Chai Latte cupcakes. There were really good.

I used a white cake mix, added the beans from one vanilla beans and 3 envelopes of Oregon Chai Latte mix. The cupcake had a very subtle chai flavor which was really good. More savory than sweet actually.

The frosting needed work. It's just a butter cream frosting with cinnamon and tarragon and I grated some cinnamon stick on the top. The flavor was good but the texture was too runny. I'll tweak the recipe and try them again sometime soon.

CB likes to have something sweet with a glass of milk in the evenings and sometimes I'm not available (pause for moans, yours not CB's) so I like to keep a cake or some cupcakes on hand. Luke and I aren't much on eating sweets so whatever I make, CB eats.

Tonight we went to my mom's house with my sister and her family for supper and dominoes. It was fun and we all had a laugh which is a great way to end the day, if you ask me.

One more thing, on this perfect Saturday, I did squeeze in a nap. Just so you know I haven't lost my touch.

January 6, 2012 Mexican Standoff

Tonight is shot night for the Dog Who is Allergic to Everything Except the Air and I Wonder About That Sometimes.

Buddy seemed to know that something was up.

CB was at the dining room table with a slice of cheese (I used the same bribery method to get Luke to do my bidding when he was young; but I used something other than cheese!).

Buddy stood just out of reach.

CB would lean towards Buddy. Buddy would back up. CB would lean, Buddy would move. It was like a 7th grade slow dance, only without worrying about an erection.

One would think that 2 adults (and I'm talking about CB and me here) could figure out a way to give a dog a shot without it being a huge ordeal

One would be wrong.

The humans gave up.

Tonight's score:

Buddy 1

Humans 0

The game is not, however, over.

January 5, 2012 Bathroom Sign

Tonight CB and I went out to eat with some friends we do not see enough. We went to the Longhorn Steakhouse in Manhattan and had a great meal and wonderful conversation.

In the ladies' room was this sign.

I loved it! And I think that I am a friend to any brave and gallant outlaw! It was being raised in Dodge City that instilled in me the love of outlaws. That and the fact that I dated a bunch of them in high school.

Vacuum update: Luke has vacuumed all the carpets in the house twice; once yesterday and once today. He loves to take out the plastic container and show me all the crap that has been sucked up.

Luke thinks it's awesome. I think: "I've been living with all this dirt?"

I'll let you know when the bloom is off the rose as far as the new sweeper is concerned. That will be the day when the picture of the day is of ME vacuuming the carpets and Luke is no where to be found!

January 4, 2012 Luke and I Went Shopping

Luke had enough of the 192,000 mile sweeper. It was time to bite the bullet and buy a new vacuum. I figured when a man says that the current vacuum is a piece of shit, then it must be.

We went to dinner, of course. All good shopping trips begin with a meal, right? Then we tootled over to Sears to pick out a vacuum; so many choices, so few sales people. Under normal circumstances not having sales people hovering about is a good thing, but tonight, we could have used some help.

Luke stepped up and took control of the situation...perhaps he has a future in retail sales. If mechanical and nuclear engineering doesn't pan out, that is.

We compared labels, boxes, colors, name brands, prices, and decided on this little bit of magic.

The work "cyclone" in a name has got to mean something good, don't you think? I won't be able to use it without thinking of Dorothy telling Toto that they were up inside the cyclone. And this vacuum? This vacuum is MULTI cyclonic. Cyclonic? Wait a minute, cyclonic? Doesn't that have something to do with a rubber tube and some kind of enema fluid? Ewwww.....

Ahem. Moving on.

Then there's Ottis' Story. I don't know Ottis' story. I may never know it. I'm not sure why his story is on the box of my new sweeper.

If a cute dog can sell a vacuum, I'm going to sign Buddy up!

Oh, one last thing, there is an attachment for the sweeper hose to be used to clean up dog hair. The owner's manual clearly states you are not to use it on your dog.

Glad I read the manual from cover to cover or I might have made that mistake.

January 3, 2012 I Just Told Curtis....

...that I was doing my blog for another year.

Bless his heart.

While I would love to tell you that this photo was totally spontaneous and not at all set up, in the spirit of truthfulness upon which this blog is based (why is there laughing?), I must admit that it's posed.

I said, while holding my camera, "Make a sad face."

CB said nothing, saw that I was holding my camera, and made a sad face.

What a good sport.

Back to work tomorrow. I'll be glad to get away from all the housework that is calling my name (my full name, including all my name changes, that's how badly my house needs attention) and from that damn Wamego puzzle in the basement.

By the way, what does it mean when my son comes up to me and complains about the vacuum sweeper? Well, it means that hell has indeed frozen over and that it's time to get a new one.

Like my car, I've had my Kenmore canister vacuum for 12 years, 192,000 miles. It's time to put it out to pasture. I'll miss it though. It was kind of fun watching it suck up stuff and poop it back out the exhaust.

I want so much to make a bunch of jokes with the word "suck" in them, but I'm better than that.

Right?

Okay, I'm better than that today.

And I can't think of any right off the bat.

January 2, 2012 Rule Change: Daily Picture Not Required

I know the reason for this blog, in the beginning, was for me to post a picture every day. Today would have been just like all the other days except that I didn't take a picture.

Oh, I had plenty of things to take pictures of...Luke and I went to Topeka for lunch (who doesn't love Red Lobster garlic cheese biscuits?) and then to a book store. I was going to take a picture of the book store and write about how much I love to read and how my parents instilled in me a love of literature. But, I forgot. I had my camera with me, I just forgot to take the picture.

Then, CB and I began work on the nightmare that is the puzzle of Wamego (see yesterday's post) and I thought I'd post a photo of the completed puzzle. NOT. BLOODY. LIKELY.

That is the hardest puzzle I have ever seen in my life. The part that is Wamego proper is 8 pieces. I must confess that when I ordered the puzzle I thought it was going to be the city of Wamego which would be easy and fun to put together. Ummm, not so much.

The rest of the puzzle is the whiteness that is 4 miles east to west and 6.5 miles north and south of my little town. What were those crazy Brits thinking of when they printed this puzzle?

I know, they were laughing their asses off and commenting that whoever ordered it was going to be putting together a puzzle of frickin' spilled milk. I am not even kidding about this.

We worked through the first half of the OSU-Stanford game and did not get the border put together. Folks, this is a 300 piece puzzle. It's not brain surgery. No one was having any fun in our basement this evening, except for Buddy who seems to be on a permanent vacation.

You might be wondering why there isn't a picture of this puzzle from hell in it's incomplete state. The reason is because that would have required me hauling me ass up from the basement, getting my camera, going back downstairs and, frankly, that was just too much work.

Remember the days when I chased vehicles down to get a photo for this blog? Or stopped traffic? Or parked in handicapped parking? Or took a picture anything so I'd have something to post? That ship has sailed.

I did dust my bedroom today. I could take a picture of that.

But I'd have to haul my ass upstairs and we know how I feel about that.

Januray 1, 2012 Here We Go Again!

Well, here it is the first day of a new year and I have nothing to say. Not letting that stop me in the past, there is no reason for it to stop me now.

Actually, today was one of those perfect days: snacks and naps all around, the Chiefs won, CB was on the golf course and I didn't have to play well with others.

CB got this puzzle from Luke for Christmas. It's of Wamego (you order it online and a company in the UK makes it.) and in the center of the puzzle is our house and that piece is shaped like a house. I can't wait to put it together.

Maybe some evening this week? It has to be a time that we can agree to watch the same thing on TV...oh, maybe during the KU-KSU game or the Cotton Bowl? I'll post a picture when it's completed.

Don't you just love the promise that a new year brings? I do. I can't wait to find out what it has in store for me.

Hope it has to do with money and weight. And by that I mean: more money and less weight.

I'm not holding my breath!