March 30, 2012 Always A Student

As someone who spent most of their young and young adult life in school, I got used to approaching situations intellectually. You know, research, research and more research.

That's how I'm preparing for this knee surgery. I've been on line, I've talked to people who have had the surgery, I've asked my doctor questions (lots and lots of questions), I sent the RN in charge of the Joint Camp an email full of questions.

I'm that kid who, when the teacher says "Are there any questions? If not, you can all leave an hour early and go play in the park", raised her hand and says "I have a couple of questions, if you don't mind."

Questions are what makes my life worth living. Being naturally curious is a wonderful attribute and I am grateful I was born with it. There is always one more question to ask. CB gets weary, i think, of my interviewing the wait staff when we eat out. Well, I think it's important to know if they are a student, what they are majoring in, where they are from, how long have they been working wherever we are. And that's before they take our drink order.

If you aren't curious, the whole world will pass you by. One day will blend into the next and nothing will be new.

We all loved Curious George, didn't we? We loved him because he was curious.

Now, go be curious about something.

You'll be glad you did.

Maarch 29, 2012 Nasty Job But Someone's Got to Do It!

 I had my pre-op physical yesterday and in addition to blood work, I was asked for a urine sample.  That was going to be a problem for 2 reasons.  First, I had not had anything to drink since 9 p.m. the night before so I was pretty low in the urine department.

Second, there is one thing shy about me and it's my bladder.  I don't pee well in strange places, like cups.  I usually pee all over my hand which grosses me out and I have to scream which causes a disruption in the doctor's office.  It's not a good scene. 

I asked the lab tech person if I could please, pretty please, bring in my urine sample from home.  She agreed although she wasn't happy about it.  I should mention at this point that I'm going to a new doctor and this office has never had me give a urine sample in the office and, therefore, has never heard my "I Just Peed On My Hand" scream. 

Sooooooo, I took all the required tools  home (you know, it's way more than peeing in a cup, right?) and after looking at the brown paper bag, I thought it needed some cheering up.



I cheered that bag up, alright. 

And I cheered up the doctor's office when I delivered my urine. 

But, there was no joy on Lilac Lane when at 8:19 a.m., I screamed:

SHIT!  I JUST PEED ON MY HAND!



March 28, 2012 How My Street Got Its Name

I live on Lilac Lane.

Eleven months out of the year, the name makes no sense.

But  for a month every Spring, the usually boring bushes put on their best Sunday clothes and brighten up the neighborhood.

 And the smell?

Oh my gosh, the smell....

I love the smell of Spring on Lilac Lane.

March 27, 2012 The Most Expensive Meal in Manhattan

I saw this sign today.  Had to go around the block so I could take a picture of it.  Sorry about the gorgeous red bud tree in the foreground.

The sign clearly says "$570 HOT MEAL EVERYDAY"

I am telling you, that is SOME hot meal.

Five hundred and seventy dollars?

It better be hot.  It better be everyday and I better not be hungry again in an hour.

Today is my sister, Baby's, birthday.  For the next 30 days, exactly, we are one year apart in age.  Clearly passion is the reason for Baby since no parents their right minds would plan to have children that close together.

Happy birthday, Baby.  I'll always be older, but once a year you're gaining on me.

March 26, 2012 Don't Tell the Hospital

Today I had a full day of pre-op appointments and a 2 hour class on joint replacement surgery.  (Kill me now.)

Between appointments, CB and I copped a squat (remember when that was such a popular saying?  Yeah, neither do I.) in one of the lobbies where I discovered this tree.

I beleive that Stormont Vail is growing marijuana.  Medicinal, I'm sure.

Before you all head down there, of course it was fake.

This is Kansas, remember? 

March 25, 2012 Two Lips

How lovely are the tulips in Wamego?

Very lovely, indeed.

The are early this year.

And they are everywhere.

Not a bad red bud tree if you ask me.  When the tulips in the foreground bloom, it's gonna be gorgeous.

Gor. Gee. Oooosssss.

How about I take a picture when it happens?  I might just have my camera handy.

March 24, 2012 Road Trip

 Luke, apparently, didn't get enough traveling between here and San Antonio, so this morning at 7 a.m., we headed to Dodge City.  It was time for our road trip/therapy session.

The sun rise was spectacular.  I was driving and Luke was taking this picture around me (which is a feat in and of itself), that's why it's a bit on the blurry side.  If you look closely along the horizon, there is a bright orange ball just peaking up over the edge of the world.  The sun was breath taking.  Or I could have just been losing my breath because I was gawking at the sun rise instead of watching the road. 

We stopped for gas in Great Bend and saw this band of Hell's Angels having a prayer circle before heading out to rape, plunder and pillage.


After we stopped at the cemetery to make sure that all is as it should be, we went to lunch at El Charro.  This is Luke's happy face (or it's his "let me eat and put that damn camera away" face.  I can't be sure.)

Food was as good as ever. 


Look closely in the rear window.  Yes.  It's a Highway Patrol car.  He stopped me for going 70 in a 65.  He only gave me a warning (if you are going to give a warning, why stop someone?) which was pretty good since the only proof of insurance I could produce was for a different car.    As a matter of fact, I still can't find the insurance card for the new car.  Not going to worry about it until I either get stopped again (the next time I go to Dodge, probably, or I have an accident.  And if I have an accident, proof of insurance is probably going to be the least of my worries.)

When we got home, we all went to Baby's house where Brother and Momma joined us for dinner.  Here is Luke with his uncle and his uncle's ever present iPad.  

Because this day started with a photo of a sunrise, it's only fitting that it end with a picture of a sunset.

 Luke and I packed a lot of living into this day. 

It was a very, very good day.

March 23, 2012 Unclear Label

Luke came home today from his Spring Break trip to San Antonio.  (Shout out to my brother, sister in law and niece for taking such good care of him.  Luke said he spent a lot of time hung over - a sure sign of a successful trip to the Barnes home!)

While on my way to the airport in Kansas City to pick him up, I saw this semi from National Beef.  You know, National Beef and I go way back.  Way, way back. 

We moved to Liberal when Luke was in Kindergarten and every time we saw a National Beef truck, we'd say "National Beef, Liberal, Kansas!" and tap the window.  I know it's silly, and I suppose that's the point because Luke and I would laugh and laugh. 

What's really silly is the fact that I still do it.  In a car.  Alone.  Talking out loud, tapping the window, all of it.  I am nothing if not consistent in my craziness.  Just ask anyone.

Back to the picture, see there on the right side of the trailer it says "Hide Trailer"?

Does that mean that at the appropriate time, this trailer should be hidden?  Did a bunch of incompetent thieves leave this message as a note to themselves in case they forgot what to do with the evidence?

Or, could it be that the truck is/was hauling hides of the poor cows who gave up their lives so I could have a steak?

Yeah, I know, it's the latter.  But I want to think it's the former as I'm a frustrated vegetarian who can't give up red meat even though I feel guilty thinking about the big, brown eyes of my hamburger staring at me.

One thing I remember about working at National Beef (another story, another time) is that the management used to say "We use every bit of the cow except the moo."

Isn't that clever?

Doesn't it make you wonder why someone hasn't come up with a use for the moo?

March 22, 2012 My Life of Crime. A Short Story

I was driving home from work this evening, listening to "This American Life" on my iPod when I got a phone call. It was CB telling me that he was home from the golf course and the garage doors wouldn't open.

It was raining to beat hell, so I suggested that perhaps there was no electricity so the doors wouldn't work. He said that control pad lit up (it's battery operated, which I patiently explained.) but the doors wouldn't open.

The only person who lives in this house with a house key is Luke. Luke, the same guy who is, even as I write this, soaking up the sun in San Antonio.

I told CB to wait for me - I'd be home in a minute.

As I pulled into my little town I noticed that the stop lights weren't lit, the kwik stop was dark, the grocery store had no lights, the liquor store was....you get the picture. No electricity.

I pulled into the driveway to find CB waiting for me and wondering, I'm sure how to get into our house.

We talked for a minute - no longer than that - before it dawned on me.

About 2 weeks ago, Luke accidentally broke the piece of shit handle on our sliding glass door. The only thing between us and the big, bad outside world, is the sliding screen door. In other words: nothing.

I told CB that I'd be right back and I tootled to the back, up the steps to the deck, popped the screen off its runner and opened the door.

The moment I got inside, THE MOMENT, the power came on! I walked to the garage pushed the 2 garage door buttons and crisis was solved.

I am not sure I could break into houses for a living for several reasons:

1. I would be afraid of their dogs. Buddy scared me enough and he KNOWS me.
2. I only found my way because it was light outside. A good burglar probably works in the night time and, in the night time? I'm asleep.
3. This only worked because I knew the door was broken and would slide right open. Had I met with any resistance whatsoever, I would have abandoned the operation.
4. Frankly, it's too damn much work. If I hadn't had to go to the bathroom in the worst way, I'm not sure I would have even broken into my own house!

Glad Luke is coming home tomorrow, there's a door that needs fixing.

March 21, 2012 Roger's 61!

Last year on Roger's birthday, I thought it was so cool that I had a picture of a bank thermometer showing 60 degrees because Roger was turning 60.

Imagine my surprise when the exact same thing happened this year. Only the temperature was 61 and I wasn't ready to take the photo.

Therefore, there was a pile up of cars behind me while I got my camera out and took this picture.

Horns were honking, fingers were waving.

They must have been celebrating Roger's birthday, too!

This year, Luke is in San Antonio for Roger's Big Day. I hope Luke is nice to his elderly uncle.

He's pretty good with his elderly momma.

March 20, 2012 Spring?

 According the calendar, it's mid-March.  We've had temperatures in the 70's and 80's during the past week. 

Today, however, it's raining and cold and gloomy.

No golf for CB today.  It he can't play golf, he's got to find something else to do, right?  Laundry? Cleaning?  Cooking?

Yes, yes and YES!

CB put a  pot of chili on this afternoon and when I got home, the house smelled great and I didnt' have to cook.

Instead of cooking, I went upstairs and put on my flannel jammies.

Yep.  They are light blue with penguins. 

And I didn't miss a button, I LOST a button.  It can't be far, right?  I mean, it's not like I wear my jammies to the grocery story. 

Although, if I had shoes that wouldn't clash, I probably would.

March 19, 2012 Not a Little Boy

When Luke was a little guy (it's been awhile since I could describe him that way), he would fly to Florida to see his dad.  When I would put him on the plane, I remember always offering a prayer that the pilot would be a good guy, who was not hung over or mad at his wife.  Maybe he'd have kids of his own and took extra care when there were children on his airplane.

Luke always arrived safely - both going and coming.  He loved flying; still does, even though he doesn't get a chance to fly very often.

The last few weeks have been tough for Luke.  Lots of tests and assignments.  He's never gone on a Spring Break trip of any kind.  Not in high school, not in college.  We agreed that it was high time!  High time for him to hop on a plane and go on an adventure.

Today, Luke headed for San Antonio to spend the week with my "brother" and his wife and daughter.  It's a well earned, well deserved vacation.  Luke didn't take any books, although he did take his computer so  he could "practice" his programming!

Even though my son is a man and no longer a little boy travelling on his own, I still kept my fingers crossed for a pilot who was not hung over.

March 18, 2012 Old Dog. New Tricks. Not Buddy.

Momma and Sissy (i.e. my mom and sister) are seamstresses of the highest order.  Both of my grandmother's were gifted in that way as well.  But, sad to say, my sewing skills are pretty limited to buttons.  Usually losing them as opposed to actually sewing them on!

Several weeks ago, Momma and Sissy went to a class called "Quilt in a Day" and they made a couple of beautiful quilts.  In a day!  The only sewing was straight seams on material that was pre-cut.  Sounds easy, right?

It sounded so easy that I let Momma and Sissy talk me into trying my hand at quilt making while I am recovering from my surgery.  I picked these colors and think they will brighten my life as I sew all the strips together and then curl up underneath the complete quilt.

Don't you agree that you can't have too many bright colors in your life?

Stay tuned for photos of the quilt in progress - some time after April 10.  Here's what I'm thinking:  I'll sew about 2 strips together (that's 2 1/2 inches  per strip) then I'll say something like "I'm just so tired" or "Pushing this pedal hurts my knee" or "Can you help me please?" or "I need a beer".  Momma and Sissy will tell me to scoot over and BOOM! in a few hours the quilt will be done and some how, I'll still get credit for it.

March 17, 2012 I Saw It With My Own Eyes

Here is proof positive that complete whack jobs live in Kansas, in Topeka, on Jewell Street. 

When I took this picture, I threw up a little in my mouth.  Just like when I drove by the Westboro baptist idiots. 

Rick Santorum and Fred Phelps are 2 peas in one pod.  There is no difference.  Horrible, horrible people.

I had hoped that santorum winning the Kansas repuglican caucus was either a bad dream or a bad headline.  While I am not a repuglican, I am still a Kansan - for now - and am embarrassed at the bullshit that comes out of this state.

I've been told by politically insightful friends that santorum should get the nomination because Obama will make mincemeat out of him.  If that is true, and it very well might be, it will be a long campaign season.  I'll spend it dodging santorum ads.  And stealing yard signs.

Just kidding about stealing the signs.  I'm not sure I could touch one without feeling like I had been violated.

This guy is very, very bad news.  His venom, I'm sure, penetrates even his yard signs.

March 16, 2012 Failed Wino

I have decided to try to start drinking wine.  All my grown up friends do it.  Some of my not so grown up friends do it.  I think I should do it, too.  I got this bottle of wine, succeeded in getting the cork pushed down into the bottle (see it floating in there), didn't know what to put on the top of the bottle since I didn't drink the whole thing in one sitting (I'm working my way up to that) so I used aluminum foil.

I think it's a little pitiful, really.  When I finished the bottle up tonight it tasted okay, so I guess having a cork floating in it for several days didn't cause any harm.  The small pieces of cork that I swallowed should provide some important nutrient, shouldn't they?

And the name of the wine that has caused all this trouble?



March 15, 2012 Wish This Was a Movie

Look closely.  In the bed of the truck.  Right behind the driver's head.  That light oblong thing?  That's a dog.  A dog that ran from side to side, sticking his head out to catch the wind.

This pickup and I were going about 60 miles an hour so the dog couldn't hang in the wind too long before losing his breath and running to the other side.

I don't know why I thought this was so funny, but I did.  It entertained me all the way from Manhattan to Wamego (okay, not ALL the way, but most of the way.)  While I am easily entertained (just ask anyone), this dog running and popping up, running and popping up, just tickled me.

Here is a thought I had - but then I thought about it again - I wondered if that dog was tired from running all 15 miles from Manhattan to Wamego.  But then I sort of figured out that while the dog travelled 15 miles, it didn't run 15 miles.

I have to admit that I still don't quite get it, but I know it's right.

By the way, how did I know the dog was a male?  A girl dog would have been riding in the cab in the air conditioning.  Duh.

March 14, 2012 Pi Day

It's Pi Day 3.14. 

That is the extent of my knowledge of math in general and pi in particular. 

Thought it was kind of funny.

Tonight after work, I gave a presentation to the men of FIJI fraternity.  It was great.  During the dinner, I offended half of the men at the table who are repuglicans.  It was a success no matter how you slice it!

Had to get gas on the way home (SHIT.  It cost $55 to fill my car.  WTF?) and saw this tree which was begging to have its picture taken.  I know that's 2 spring flower pictures in a row, but too bad.  This was a picture dying to be taken.

Now that I've had a glass of wine (a LARGE glass of wine - and by "glass" I mean large plastic tumbler - in case anyone is wondering), it's time to go upstairs and do my exercises. 

My flat on my back, in my jammies, in bed, exercises.

Doesn't get any better than that.

Okay, it does.  Of course it gets better than that.  But if you have to exercise, doing it on your back, in bed, in your jammies is pretty frickin' good.

March 13, 2012 Long Day

I saw a lot of students today.  A whole lot of students.  It was clearly fall out from Fake Patty's Day. 

After spending the day seeing students, I went out to eat with several wonderful women attorneys.  We all were participating in a speed mentoring event for pre-law students.  Many laughs, most at the expense of various repuglicans.  Did my heart good to be surronded by liberal women who look at the world in the same way I do.

The speed mentoring event lasted for a couple of hours which meant that I got home at 9:30.  It was a very long day, but it was worth it.  Whenever I can help a scared student become a bit calmer and feel more confident about the future, I feel like I've done my job.

Here's my confession:  no picture.    Didn't even think about it.  That hasn't happened before.  Sorry.  It won't happen again.

Funny thing:  I'm doing some pre-op exercises and I love them.  Why do I love them?  Because nearly all of them are done flat on my back in bed.

DO NOT GO THERE.  COME ON.  GET OUT OF THE GUTTER. 

RIGHT NOW. 

ALL.  OF. YOU.

The exercises are leg lifts and leg curls and that kind of thing.  They take 30 minutes to do from beginning to end.  Thirty minutes of counting to ten.  Over and over and over and over.

All kidding aside, my knee is feeling better.  That could simply be because the surgery date is set.  April 10 I get a new knee; April 9th we'll say goodbye to the old one. 

That should be fun. 

March 12, 2012 Signs of Spring

I mailed a letter tonight and saw these lovely daffodils in the garden outside the library.  Nothing signals the beginning of Spring quite like yellow daffodils.

When I saw these, my first thought was that the flowers were early.  After all, we haven't had winter yet!  However, I started looking around (okay, I started paying attention to details when I was driving) and saw that Spring was in full swing in my little corner of the world.

I fully expect one more wintry blast before Spring settles in permanently.  It's been known to happen in Kansas, you know.

You  heard it here first!

March 11, 2012 Just Like Saturday, Only Sunday.

Here we go again. Tell me, what would YOU have taken a picture of?

Due to time change, over slept and had to rush to Manhattan to deliver the cupcakes.

Breakfast at Bob's Diner.

Saw drunk Fake Patty's Day survivor's.

Drove through Aggieville to check for bodies in the gutter. (If I had found some, you know I would have had a picture today.)

Came home.

It was raining.

CB went to basement.

I went upstairs and "read".

CB and I worked a puzzle (which is not code for sex, seriously, it's not. I have a headache or something.) and watched "Moneyball."

Now one of us is watching the NCAA Selection Show and that person is not me.

See? Sometimes getting a picture on this silly blog is harder than it looks.

March 10, 2012 Blank Canvas

Today is Saturday. Luke and I took my mom to Manhattan to buy some plants and do some grocery shopping,

While I have never considered Luke to be a drug user, he must have been stoned to have volunteered for this gig. Both of us had our canes and we hobbled along with Luke patiently waiting on us; holding doors and carrying purchases.

I agreed to bake cupcakes for a friend to take to a baby shower, so after spending only 2 hours with my mother (I won't mention the fact that it felt like 12), I was in the kitchen whipping up a batch of pink champagne cupcakes and a batch of chocolate Rolo cupcakes (yes, yes they do have a melted Rolo in the middle, so when you bite into it, you hit creamy caramel).

We had ribs for supper and after the dishes were done, I made the frosting and finished off the cupcakes.

I used about 3/4 of a bottle of pink champagne in the recipe for the cupcakes and frosting. Not one to let good champagne go to waste, I started drinking it. That in and of itself is not really note worthy, except that I didn't bother to use a glass (one more thing to wash, right?). CB came upstairs and there I was, sitting in the kitchen, with a champagne bottle up to my lips, finishing it off. He very kindly asked what the hell I was doing.

My response? "Frosting cupcakes, what does it look like I'm doing?"

So, that was the end of that conversation.

At the end of the day, there was nothing to take a picture of.

Just so you know.

OH, wait a minute. There might have been something I could have taken a picture of, but had I done so, I would of had to have thrown my camera away AND thrown myself in front of a bus.

My sister called to tell me that there were a bunch of people in downtown Wamego this morning and she wondered why. In a town this small, if there is a lot of traffic, there must be a reason. Turns out, a number of people were going into the Columbian Theatre (a local theatre where plays and concerts are held). Again, my sister wondered why. Then she spied a huge sign hanging from the balcony and she threw up a little in her mouth.

The sign said "Rick Santorum for President."

Could it be that rat bastard was in Wamego campaigning? For president? WAMEGO? WTF?

Isn't Kansas bad enough without adding Rick Santorum to the mix?

Yes. It. Is. Bad. Enough.

Stop the insanity.

March 9, 2012 And It Smelled Good, Too!

This grass fire was along Zeandale Road tonight on my way home.  I rolled down my window to get a good picture and put myself in mortal danger of being consumed by the flames. 

Maybe not mortal danger, but I did slow way down and could have been rear ended (had there been any other traffic on the highway, which there wasn't.  But there could have been.)

The heat of the flames and the smell of the smoke reminded me of fall nights and bonfires and Girl Scout camp and S'mores.

People who know such things say that a smell can evoke memories better than any other sense.  I think that might be the case for me.  My Grandma Flo smelled like Jergen's lotion.  I can't smell it without thinking of her but I don't know of anything that I could see and have the same reaction.

Right after I graduated from law school, I lusted for a bottle of Gucci perfume.  It was very expensive (@ $30 which was completely out of my price range.  Thirty dollars could buy a lot of food for my 3 year old son) and often I would go into a store in Dodge City that had a perfume counter and test it.  I loved the fragrance and it felt so sophisticated.  A friend bought it for me for Christmas which was a really nice thing for him to do and quite uncharacteristic as he was pretty much a total asshole.  Anyway, about 3 years ago, I found that same perfume on eBay and bought it.  The fragrance takes me back to that perfume counter and it's as if I'm 28 again just beginning my career journey.

Think about a smell that transports you to a special place.

Don't do this on burrito night.

March 8, 2012 Too Young Too Feel This Damn Old

Today I am officially old. And crippled. And elderly. And handicapped. Officially handicapped - I have the placard to prove it.

I bought a cane today and without it I can't walk more than 25 or 30 feet. Watched an online video to learn how to use it (did you know you use it in the hand of your dominant/uninjured leg? I didn't, but I do now.) and I'm off to the races.

I'm embarrassed and mortified to be using a cane, to be sure, but it's not forever and I'll be back to walking unassisted in no time.

Also, just think how good I'll be in the rehab post-op classes. I bet I'm the best in the whole damn class.

I know I'll be the youngest.

March 7, 2012 Wag the Dog

CB and I left today at the same time.  Hours after Luke had left for school.  Although Buddy thought he was going for a walk, the joke was on him as he was told to head to the basement.

He didn't want to go to the basement - what with its clean carpet, color television, comfortable couch and toys to chew on - no, he wanted to go for a walk, damn it, a WALK.  Right frickin' now.

Between the two of us, CB and me, we got most of Buddy to the basement.  

Before anyone calls PETA, the door is about 2 inches from the floor so Buddy's tail wasn't harmed during the taking of this photo or the publication of this blog. 

I hobbled to the car to get my camera and right after I snapped this picture, the tail, along with the rest of the dog, I suppose, slithered away. 

According to all reports, dog and tail rested comfortably in the basement for most of the morning and enjoyed an afternoon walk.

March 6, 2012 Variety is the Spice of Life

I took the day off today because I had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon.

CB and I went out for breakfast and when I came home I marinaded some pork chops (Lemonade Pork Chops, by the way, were amazing!).

In the course of getting the ingredients together, my spice cabinet exploded all over me. Where did all these spices come from?

I'll tell you where they came from. They came from me loving the baking aisle in the grocery store and thinking that I didn't have garlic salt (I did), poppy seeds (I did times 3), minced onions (times 2), etc. etc.

Today I combined and sorted and threw out and organized.

Funny story about organizing spices. I had just given birth to Luke and my mom had arrived in Topeka to help me out. Since I was still in the hospital, she was at our apartment with my former husband (Why she didn't beat him with a skillet is anyone's guess). My former husband called to tell me that my mom was there and I asked what she was doing. He replied "Alphabetizing your spices." No shit. That's exactly what she was doing!

They didn't stay alphabetized for long, but for a little while, I knew that the dill weed was closer to the front of the shelf than oregano.

About my doctor's appointment - keeping in mind that this blog is NOT a place where I will whine about my aches and pains - I got word today that I'll be having a total knee replacement within the next couple of months.

Hopefully this operation will stop the debilitating pain and will go a long way in giving me my life back. Oh yes, I'll continue to blog, but I make no guarantees about the photos. Might not be much to take pictures of but then again, there might be!

Stay tuned!

March 5, 2012 Best. Headline. Ever.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

I have worked for the last half an hour to get this damn photo to rotate clockwise one quarter turn. That's all. It's not rocket science. But I'll be go to hell if I can get this bastard to show right side up.

You will just have to turn your head and laugh at a headline that says "Nap Deadline Approaches".

Nap deadline? I am all over that idea.

Everyone, to your blankie, nap deadline is approaching!

I think in the area of naps, I could be considered an over achiever. In Kindergarten (the last time I got credit for nap taking) I am sure I had a 4.0 in napping.

My mom still has my Kindergarten report card (Oh. Yes. She. Does.) so I'll check to be sure. You know this blog is nothing if not a well of truth and accuracy.

A shallow well, perhaps, but a well nonetheless.

March 4, 2012 Oops.

Oops. So sorry. Completely my fault.

Luke asked to take my car to Manhattan today but when he got in, and tried to start it, that car was dead. D. E. A. D.

So dead, in fact, that the key wouldn't come out of the ignition.

Hummmmm. What to do?

CB was at the golf course, Luke went to Manhattan in a different vehicle. There were cookies to bake and naps to take, so I sure as hell wasn't going to do anything about it.

For Christmas, I gave CB a battery charger for his golf cart and lawn mower. Who knew that the first time he would use it would be to charge my new car?

I don't know exactly what I did (on FRIDAY when I came home from work) but whatever it was drained the battery. I think it had something to do with shutting the car off while it was still in drive, then putting the car into drive then getting out of the car. In other words, I left the key on.

Well, shit.

Again I say, living with me is always an adventure.

Not necessarily in paradise, but always an adventure.

March 3, 2012 Say It With Flowers

For some reason - let's call it "operator error" shall we? - I can't get today's picture of the day to download.  I'm going to go ahead and make the blog entry and try to load the photo later.  Damn technology.

Yesterday I got flowers at work. 

Wasn't my birthday or my anniversary or CB saying he's sorry for a big fight.

It was a student and his parents saying thank you for the help I gave the student over the past month.  The kid had made a series of bad choices and I helped with damage control.

If parents sent me flowers every time I did damage control for a kid's bad choices, my office would look like a funeral home. 

I'd have the same amount of crying.

March 2, 2012 The Things I Ask My Family to Do

It was time to have our carpets cleaned.  While looking through my appointment calendar from 2009, I found the name and number of the person who cleaned our carpets that year.  It was the last time we've had it done.   We've accumulated some dirt since then.  And spilled coffee.  And dog accidents.  And other stuff that I don't want to think about.

In order to get the carpets cleaned, the furniture had to be moved out of the living room.  Who knew we could fit all that furniture into our dining room?

Who knew that doing that before supper would mean that we'd have to get pizza?  Okay, I knew it and sort of planned it that way.

 Buddy did have a bit of a hard time trying to find a place to relax.  As did I!

But, it was well worth it:

Lovely, lovely, clean carpets.  That I won't let anyone walk on.  Which makes it hard to get upstairs.  But, we'll get over it.

One other thing I want to acknowledge today is that is was 3 years ago on this very day that our sweet, 16 year old Border Collie was put to sleep.  Luke got Maxine when we were living in Liberal.  He was having a particularly tough life then and my friend, Shirla, asked if she could get him a puppy.  I said yes (who doesn't love a puppy?).  They went to the local pet store where there was a litter of puppies and Luke picked one out.  Cost was $7.00.  That's right, SEVEN dollars.

Maxine was a great dog.  She had us all trained very well and we loved her.  Maxine was certainly Luke's dog and she brought much joy to our home.  When Maxine would get out of the house or off her leash, I would have to get in the car, chase her down, open the car door and let the princess in.  No kidding.  She had me trained very, very well!

When CB came on the scene, Maxine wasn't sure what to think; it wasn't long, however, before they were fast friends.  When CB would get up in the morning, he'd wake Maxine (who slept in a dog bed in our bedroom), and they'd go out to get the paper together.  Every, single morning.

It was a sad day, this day 3 years ago.  But Maxine had lived a long, wonderful life.  She's buried in the backyard and not a day goes by when I don't think about her. 

She's running with the angels now.  Hope they have figured out how to get her to come when she's called.

March 1, 2012 Real Meaning of "No Parking"

This is just a No Parking sign, right?

That's what I thought too. 

But then I saw a t-shirt in a catalog that had this P with the slash through it on the front.

So what, right?  Nothing noteworthy about that.

The back, though, the back was hysterical.

It had one of those stick figures, you know the kind that are on the bathroom doors.  This one had it's hands over it's crotch.

I'm going to give you a minute to think about that.

There's no hurry.

I'll wait.

You got it!  Well done!

I will never look at a No Parking sign again without wondering where is the closest bathroom, since I know it's not where the sign is!