August 20, 2012 Beautiful Day

It doesn't look like much, but this is where CB and I ate dinner tonight.  It was a lovely cool evening with no bugs, no flies, no wind, no mosquitoes.  It was hard to believe we were in Kansas.

Why don't I think of taking pictures with people actually sitting around the table eating supper?  Because I'm old and forgetful.  You will just have to take my word for it.

Here's something cool.  When I was a little girl, my dad used to sing the "82nd Airborne Division" song to me.  He couldn't remember all the words, but he had the tune right.  While wandering around on YouTube, I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H86l4BP5g5U

One of my favorite lines is "Take your jumps and take your lumps today."  Dad always used to tell me "take your lumps" and I always did!  Sometimes more than my share, if you want to know the truth.

This song makes me smile and miss my dad a little.

August 19, 2012 Mommy Porn, Indeed

Ladies, read this book and the other 2 in the trilogy.

Men, encourage the women in your life to read these books.

They last just long enough...by the third book the sex scenes get sort of redundant.  Blah, blah, blah, apex of her thighs, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I read all three books when I was recovering from my knee surgery.  I have them on my Kindle so I can revisit the naughtiness whenever I want to!  And no one will be the wiser.

Augsut 18, 2012 On Average He Was Comfortable

This morning I measured out all the meat for the meals over the next 2 months and vacuum packed it.  I needed some help getting all of it to the deep freeze so I enlisted my first (and last) born.

Luke took one look at the freezer and decided it was time for a good defrosting.  The garage was hot and Luke was sweating like a pig, but his arms and hands were cold.  I guess on the average he was comfortable.

He dug and scraped frost for an hour or so.  It was like a treasure hunt.  Items found:  2 turkeys, 5 bags of chicken breasts all unopened, 6 packages of fajita meat brought back from San Antonio (every time we go I bring home a cooler full - - don't want to run out and have to go back.  Oh wait....), 14 bags of frozen vegetables (some with a sell by date in 2007, I am not kidding,), various unidentified bags of what used to be meat (must have been before my Seal a Meal days), and 7 bags of french fries.

I was not thinking about my blog (imagine that) so I didn't get a before picture.  But here's the after shot.

I'll be glad to hire him out.  He does very good work.

I love a clean freezer!  (Luke insisted that the inside freezer be cleaned as well, so I'm a happy camper!)

August 17, 2012 It Must Be Fall

How do I know that school is about to begin?  That Fall is nearly here?  That football season is just around the corner?

Not by the calendar.

I just listen for the parade outside my window.  The K State Marching Band practices twice a day and they march right past my window.  Occasionally, they will stop at the south end of Anderson Hall and play the Fight Song for the University President.  It's really kind of cool.

There is nothing like being on a college campus during this time of year.  The sights, the sounds, the anticipation of a new school year.

I know on Monday, I'll be bitching about the traffic, the lost students, the knuckleheads who are already in trouble.  

But for now, I clap along with the marching band.

Go State!

August 16, 2012 Shopping with a Helper

Every now and then, CB goes to the grocery store with me.  When I go to the market, it's a big deal.  A very big deal.  I plan meals for 2 months and clip coupons so I when I shop, I do some major damage.

Just to make sure that CB doesn't forget that food doesn't magically appear in the cupboard I invite him to spend the evening/afternoon/morning, whatever, with me at Dillions.

Actually, we had a pretty good time.  CB took one shopping basket and one list and I took another.  We shopped the hell out of the "Ten for Ten" sale!

Of course, when we got home, CB had to carry all the groceries in (I'm crippled, you know).  I decided that we would put the stuff that needed to be refrigerated away and save the rest of the fun until tomorrow!

I was decidedly pooped when it was all said and done.  Well, part way done, anyway.

August 15, 2012 Damn Dog

This is the inside of my right arm.  (Looking at the picture it's sort of hard to tell, isn't it?)

The bruise is courtesy of Buddy who jumped up on the bed with no regard for the fact that the bed was already occupied.  By me.  Damn it.  It's not like he couldn't see me, right?

Being crippled means that I can't get out of Buddy's way, even if I were so inclined, which, as a matter of fact, I am not.  It's my damn bed.

Well, mine and CB's.  Mostly mine.

Sorry, CB.

August 14, 2012 DELTA SIGS

WHAT A GREAT DAY!

I had the honor of having lunch with the men of Delta Sigma Phi and then spending much of the afternoon with them, talking about their rights.

Not only was it fun and funny, but I am convinced that they learned something and are better equipped to deal with the ugliness that can be law enforcement in Manhattan, Kansas.

I told them a lot of stories (but I forgot to tell them about the "blow job in the bushes", dang it.) and gave them some great advice.  Now, I shall sit back and hope they take it.

August 13, 2012 New Old Photo

Remember in June when my cousin, Merri and her son, Josh, came to town for the luncheon to honor our Grandpa Judge?  When she got back to Austin, she had reprints made of this photo and sent one to Brother, Baby and me.

It's my Grandma Ada, my dad, Uncle Sharp and Uncle Walker.  It must have been taken in 1929 or 1930.   Here's what I love about the photo:  my dad didn't have his glasses on (he got glasses at a very early age and  was rarely without them); Uncle Walk has on knickers and argyle socks; Uncle Sharp didn't change a bit as he aged; grandma looked so regal and the German Shepard appeared to be watching over all of them.

It makes me smile to think about my dad as a little boy.

August 12, 2012 If It's Sunday....

it must be breakfast at Bob's!

Luke and I went to Bob's this morning for breakfast which seems to have become something of a tradition for us.

Luke carbo loads for the day and I switch between eggs and pancakes.

CB was already on the golf course so it's not like we ditched him or anything.

My plan was to go home and take a nap but instead Baby and I went to see "The Campaign".  It was pretty funny in a raunchy sort of way.  Our dad ran for U.S. Congress in 1974 and I kept seeing him and his dumber than dog hair opponent in various situations - like in the movie.  Baby and I laughed a lot, although I must admit that we may have been the only two in the theatre laughing out loud.

Seriously?  I'd wait until it comes out on video.  But the popcorn rocked.

August 11, 2012 What I Do

Every year I give numerous presentations to various groups around campus.  As you know, I am a hoot, which in and of itself is pretty damn entertaining, but sometimes I like to try to teach the kids a thing or two (or at least feel like I taught them a thing or two!).

One year I did a take off of the Listener's Limerick Challenge from Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me, a news related comedy show on NPR.   Oh yeah, that was great and it was the closest most of those little repuglicans from Johnson County have ever been to NPR!

I've done the whole "Smartees", "Dum-Dum" thing.  I got pretty good at throwing candy at people.

This year I decided to go with a Family Feud theme.  All it took was yards of Velcro, a 3 sided display board, purple card stock and an afternoon of measuring and gluing and printing.  I will find out on Tuesday if it works (watch out, Delta Sigs!).

Just so you know:  UIP is Urinating in Public and yes, they do need to be reminded that it's against the law and in bad taste.

August 8, 2012 Suicide Watch

Apparently it is against the law and offensive to Kansans to be a "moderate" Republican.

In order to be elected, or re-elected, to state office, you must be a right wing conservative who has no regard for the middle class, the uninsured, women, the poor...you get the picture.

Due to the primary election results I am currently on suicide watch.  So, while I am not handling sharp knives or shaving my legs (oh yes you certainly can bleed to death from a nick on your ankle) I am trolling the internet for a place to relocate.

Here is my main question:  who is representing ME in Topeka?  No one, that's who.

And it pisses me off.

No picture for that.

August 7, 2012 End of an Era

Nearly 4 months ago I hobbled into Heartland Physical Therapy to begin rehabilitation on my new knee.  None of us knew at the time that while my knee may have been new, the leg it went into was in very bad shape.

Because of the condition of my leg, my therapy was profoundly difficult...for all of us.  We had to measure my progress in inches, sometimes in parts of inches, but Steve and Angie of Heartland Physical Therapy never quit encouraging me and believing in me, I was able to achieve what once was thought impossible:  a knee bend to 115 degrees!

Today was my last PT session (well, until we start on some other part of my body!) and I must admit that the thought of not seeing Shanel (the office manager and general do it all person), Angie and Steve 2 times a week is almost more than I can bear!  I think it's only right that this should happen during the Olympic games.  I am inspired by stories of redemption and courage and think that perhaps someday I will have such a story of my own.

Shanel, Angie and I always had something to talk about while I was doing wall slides or standing on one foot or doing straight leg lifts with 5 pounds of weight on my leg.  Mostly we laughed,  unless I was crying.  

The bottom line is this:  they cared about me and making me better.  

Today was my last PT session.  And I'm a bit sad about it.

Okay, it was also election day.  I voted at 3:00 and I was the 18th Democrat who voted.  Seriously?  What kind of fucked up county do I live in?  EIGHTEEN DEMOCRATS?  I'm surprised that I was allowed to vote, except that 18 people can't really do much harm, can they?

Even though the Secretary of State, Chris Kolbach, did everything in his power to prevent people from voting (heaven forbid someone should cast a vote without a photo ID), election day still arrived.  I thought that the job of the SOS was to encourage voting and make it easier.  Guess that is not the case in Kansas where rich, white, conservative men make the rules.

August 6, 2012 Crazy Uncle

When Luke was a little boy, he called his uncle "Uncle Donie in 'Rado".  Uncle Donie lives in Colorado and Luke combined all the information he had at his disposal into what he called his uncle.  (His other uncle, Baby's husband, he called "KimmyJay" which is a combination of both his aunt's name and his uncle's.)

One time, Uncle Donie in 'Rado, called Luke from a plane.  Remember the days when the seats had phones and you used a credit card to place a call?  Well, Luke was about 4 and he got the call from the sky.  He went to school and told his teacher that his uncle had called from the Moon.  Well, his uncle was closer to the Moon than we were!

When Uncle Donie in 'Rado would run in a race (he is quite the jogger), he'd get a shirt for Luke.  Everywhere he traveled, he got a shirt for Luke.  Every college he visited, he'd get a shirt for Luke.  I didn't have to buy a shirt for Luke until he was in high school.

Uncle Donie in 'Rado likes to spin a yarn and Luke loves to hear a yarn.  It's a match made in heaven.  The further UDIR gets from the truth, the better Luke likes it.  And if UDIR peppers his stories with swear words, that's even better.  Rarely does UDIR disappoint.

Last year, UDIR took Luke snowshoeing in Colorado.  UDIR is always up for an adventure with his oldest nephew.  The same is true for Luke.   Being an only child, Luke sees UDIR as a sibling who he only has to see occasionally and never has to share with or pick up after.

Everyone needs a crazy aunt (I fulfill that role for many, many children) and a crazy uncle.  I am so very grateful that Luke has UDIR and that UDIR is just crazy enough.

August 3, 2012 All Aboard!

Brother is in town for several days. Before he came to town, he asked Baby and me if we wanted to take the train from Kansas City to St. Louis and back today.  He would buy the tickets and help me with my walker, so I figured why not?

Back story: when we were kids, we took the Santa Fe from Dodge City to Topeka a lot.  It was easy for Mom to handle the 3 of us; she could drink in the club car while we terrorized the rest of the passengers.  It was a good time all round.  So, the Smith kids love the train. 

We left Wamego at 4:31 and headed to Kansas City.  The train was to leave at 7:15 a.m.from Union Station.   

I borrowed a cooler on wheels so we could take water, soda, Chex mix, chocolate chip cookies, blue berry muffins, Goldfish crackers and breakfast bars.  Brother was in charge of rolling it around.  As you can see, he used it as a place holder on the train.  We didn't think it would be a good idea for anyone to sit next to Brother, for a number of reasons.

It's true.  While spending the day with his sisters, Brother brought the following:  laptop computer, iPad, iPhone, and several files.  His plan was to do some work.  Baby and I had other plans.

Baby and me.  I have new sunglasses.  For all my KSU readers, they are PURPLE so lay off.  

We got off the train and got on the light rail which we took to the Arch.  Here is as close as I got to it.

This is Brother.  I am so very proud.

I took this sunset picture on the way home.  If you squint your eyes I think it looks like the London skyline.

Come on, really squint them.  

Maybe if you moved back a little.

We arrived at Union Station which was bathed in blue in honor of the All Star game.  It was beautiful.

We laughed all the way home and pulled into Baby's driveway at 12:33.  A long day, filled with lots of laughs.  Just like a day should be.

July 31, 2012 Enough Already!

I am not kidding.

Buddy was on the couch, looking out into the living room.

I came in, sat down in the recliner, and turned on the Olympics.

Buddy heard the Olympic theme being played, got up, turned around so he faced the back of the couch and that's where he stayed.

Apparently, Buddy is not a fan of the Olympics.  He must not be a real patriot either.  Or a true American.

Maybe he just wanted a change of scenery?

July 29, 2012 Olympic Fever

I love the Olympics.  

And I am not the only one.

Here''s a display in the Hy-Vee Store in Manhattan.  (Yes.  As a matter of fact I did want to pull out one of the center cases of pop.  I did not.  Luke was with me and he has enough trouble with me as his mother when I'm not making a mess in the grocery store.)

Firestone got in on the fun by painting 5 tires and displaying their own Olympic rings.  I damn near ran a red light taking this picture.  I swear, someday my obituary is going to read "Killed while getting a photo for her blog."  If that happens, I promise it will be worth it!

Confession:  I cry every time the national anthem is played when the US gets a gold medal.

Every. Single. Time.