July 28, 2012 What Did You Do Today?

Luke and I went on a road trip to Topeka today.  CB was on the golf course; summer school is over; and I had decided to try to do something other than sleep all day.  

We had lunch at Red Robin.  Clearly Luke was happy with his burger.  He's got a bit of a Popeye thing doing on, don't you think?

Before you read further, you better get your magnifying glass or your binoculars.  I'll wait.

We were on our way home, west bound on I 70, when Luke said "There was a zebra on that road back there!".  Right.  Sure there was....

Damn it, I thought (and, apparently said aloud) a zebra would have been a great picture of the day.  The next thing I knew, Luke was turning the car around and we were in search of the zebra on the road.

Well, there was a zebra, but it's hard to see.  I'll help you out:  see the road that curves there on the far left?  Just to the right of the turn in the road is a black spot then a larger dark area.  The first black spot is the zebra.  I'm not even kidding.  I saw it!

Here's another shot.  The zebra and the larger dark spot are nearly the same.

Okay, so this begs the question of what the hell is a zebra doing roaming the plains of Kansas?  Was it walking down the road to check the mail?  Maybe a letter from home was expected?  Do you think the horses on this ranch make fun of the zebra?  Is the zebra allowed to join in the horsey games played when humans aren't looking?  

I remember one time Luke told me there was a dinosaur in his closet.  Guess I should have looked.

July 27, 2012 London and Other Stuff

There is no photo today.  Sorry.  There could have been one but I didn't apply myself like I should have.  Tough shit.

Big news from physical therapy today:  wall slide knee bend of 115 degrees and sliding knee bend of 105.  Oh yeah, I am a rock star.  Angie, physical therapist to the stars, was duly impressed although she still made noises about 120 degrees.  We laughed about the fact that I am probably never going to be released from PT but that's okay.  Angie and Steve have 2 children to put through college and I need to do my part to help them pay the tuition bills.  There was some talk about combining my PT with alcohol.

Because I love London and people I love live in London (or used to), it was imperative that I watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.  Seeing my favorite city all dressed up was so much fun.

One more sign that I am getting old:  I thought the ceremony was loud.  Don't be a smart ass and suggest that I should have just turned down the volume on the television.    Setting aside the whole too loud thing, though, there were some highlights:  the deaf children singing "God Save the Queen", the Queen parachuting out of the helicopter, Mohammed Ali, Mary Poppins to the nth degree, the symbolism of the Olympic torch.

Things that made me tired:  the parade of nations that went on for freaking EVER.  In 4 years, I suggest that the US team go first.  The end.  I haven't even heard of some of those countries.  I say let's combine all the countries that aren't the U.S. and shorten that damn parade.

I'm glad someone woke the Queen up to declare the Games open.  She clearly was up past her bedtime.  Maybe jumping out of the helicopter took it's toll on the old girl.

Paul McCartney should not give up his day job.  Leading a sing-a-long at the Olympics was not a great idea.       Whose  idea was it, do you suppose?  Wonder if that person still has a job?

I love London.

I love the Olympics.

I love when the "Star Spangled Banner" plays.

I could be full of love over the next 17 days.

July 24, 2012 Why?

Why is it that Americans are so quick to fly flags at half staff in honor of  the innocent people gunned down at  a theatre in Colorado but will not embrace reasonable gun control?

I don't get it.

No one can explain it to me.

It's time to make guns harder to get, not easier.

It's past time to make automatic weapons illegal.  

While we're at it, let's shut the NRA down.  Right now.

What makes sense to me is that our nation take some proactive action against guns instead of flying flags at half staff when some clown with orange hair opens fire in a movie theatre.

July 23, 2012 Craigslist

I was wandering around on Craigslist looking for nothing in particular.  There is some crazy shit out there to buy, trade, hire, etc.

For example, someone in Dodge City was looking for a ride to Denver.  Hmmmm.....who could be wanting to go to Denver?  Anyone I know?    Who would want to spend 15 hours in a car with a complete stranger?  And by "stranger", I mean someone from Dodge City.

I read on:  "I'm a 22 year old male who just graduated from college and is going on a hitchhiking trip and on July 9th, I need a ride from Dodge City to as close as possible to Denver."

What.  The.  Fuck.

It's a hitchhiking trip.  HITCHHIKING.  You know, where you stick your thumb out and hope that someone who is not an ax murderer stops and gives you a ride.  

Hitchhiking, it seems to me is made up of 2 words:  hitch, that's the part with your thumb and hiking, that's the part where you walk to your destination.

This must be the new generation of hitchhikers.  Don't leave your house until you have a ride lined up.  The basic elements are there:  free ride; with a stranger.

A rose by any other name, I suppose.

July 22, 2012 Special Visitors

I was blessed with a special visit today.  My dear friend, Jennifer, a friend from my first years at Kansas State (she was a bright Business student who had dreams of law school) brought little Evie to see her crazy aunt Sarah.  

Yes, I know it's more like Crazy Grandma Sarah, but we are going to go with "Aunt".  So there.

Time and time again during their visit I found myself thinking that I started law school when Luke was 8 months old. 

Evie loved smiling for my camera.   

She loved, loved, LOVED Luke.  It was as if he was her own private jungle gym.  She showed him her book, then she'd crawl to him, giggling all the while.

 Luke and a friend were having breakfast in the dining room and even though all of Evie's toys were in the living room, she kept crawling to Luke.  Every now and then she'd sit back and wave to him and laugh.  Then she'd start to crawl again.

I am ready to be a grandma.

What I mean is that once I no longer need a walker and can walk with 2 real legs and feet, I'll be ready to be a grandma.

Oh, and when Luke is out of school and finds the right woman and gets settled, I'll be ready to be a grandma.

Until then, I will beg Evie to come visit as often as she can.

Hope she brings her momma.

July 18, 2012 What Is This Stuff?

Do you see that the deck under the table is a different color?

Do you see these white dots?

It. Rained. This. Evening.

Oh. Yes. It. Did.

Water poured out of the sky in giant, juicy drops.  It was awesome.

The grass is greener, the trees are perky again, the dust has settled, the world feels a bit cleaner.

And it is now humid as hell.

I may never be dry again.

July 17, 2012 Friends Who Farn

Today I went to work and to a meeting with a local attorney.

It was as if I had spent the day at a farmer's market!

Bags of sweet corn, tomatoes and onions came home with me thanks to my friends who farm.

The attorney grew his batch of tomatoes in one of those upside down hanging doo-dads where the tomato plant grows towards the ground.  While it looks a bit odd, I can say that the tomatoes taste quite good.

Being from rural Kansas, you'd think I'd have some desire to grow my own food.  You'd be wrong.

I don't need to grow my own food, because I have friends who will do it for me.

July 16, 2012 A Friend's Garden

Thanks to a friend's garden, I whipped up some zucchini bread this evening.  Even though it's hotter than hell around here, it was worth firing up the oven for these bad boys.

I have the best cinnamon for baking (thanks to Penzey's Spices) and used it in this bread.  The cinnamon flavor is subtle and wonderful.

Just between us, don't tell Luke there is zucchini in this bread.  Okay?  There is still a part of him that is 5 years old and not willing to eat vegetables in bread.

PT UPDATE:  I bent my knee to 110 degrees today!  WA HOOOOOOO!!!! I thought there would be a ticker tape parade and toasts all around.  What I got instead was Angie saying "I want 115" 

Will that woman every be satisfied?

115 degrees it is.  

July 15, 2012 Sunday Afternoon on the Links

CB took me to the golf course this afternoon to keep him company while he played 18 holes.  I'm not much for playing golf yet (ever) and my cart driving has never been very safe, so I was indeed "just" company.

Here's my beloved on the first tee box.  What form!  Is Tiger Woods looking for a coach?

I love this picture.  It's the hole where CB got his most recent hole in one. 

CB on the green.  And it only took 5 strokes to get there.  

I kid.  I kid.

Poison ivy.

My bra in the glove box of CB's golf cart.  

I shall let you use your imagination.

With this reminder:  I'm crippled.

July 14, 2012 The "After" Shot

Do you see the grease spots on the deck?

Those grease spots are all the remain of the t-bone we gave Buddy this evening.

While CB and I watched Buddy devour the bone, every bit of the bone, we discussed how long we thought it took food to go through him from one end to the other.

Probably, CB is thinking ahead to tomorrow morning.

With good reason.

July 13, 2012 Not a Bad Luck Day

You think this post is going to be about the temperature, don't you?  After all, it's July in Kansas.

But it's not.

It's about progress and hope and hard work.

At PT today, I was able to bend my knee 109 degrees.  One hundred and nine degrees!  I remember the day when I struggled to get to 70 degrees and the thought of reaching 90 degrees was an unattainable dream.

Today, though, today the hard work paid off.  Except for the left ankle bullshit, I'm hopeful that recovery is not far away.

It's been hard work for everyone who is making this journey with me (listening to me whine and complain isn't easy.  Ask anyone.).

One day soon, I'll be posting a photo of the new, improved me!   Breath holding not recommended.

July 12, 2012 This Made Me Smile

The student worker at my office had this shirt on today.  

It made me smile.

It also made me think that I fumbled a lot.

Here are 10 fumbles that come to mind (in no particular order):

1.  Getting Dad's car stuck in the sand of the Arkansas River bed while searching for the KEDD radio station treasure.  Not sure Dad was a fan that day.

2.  Forgetting to reserve a hotel room for him and my step-mom for the annual Democrat gathering in Topeka when I was in law school.  Clearly, he was not a fan that day.

3.  When he called me at Fort Hays State to tell me my bank account was overdrawn and I responded with "The bank must have made a mistake."  Yes. I. Sure. Did.  

4.  Marrying the same man for the second time when the first time had ended very, very badly.  Most certainly a fumble....not certainly a fan.

5.  Buying pineapple juice instead of grapefruit juice to go with his vodka.  A fumble.  Quick trip to the grocery store.  A fan.

6.  Practicing the viola.  Enough said.

7.  Trimming the evergreen hedge to make a fort.  I wonder if that big hole ever grew closed?

8.  The "D" at mid-term in 8th grade History.  NOT A FAN.

9.  Kimber and me drinking most of his alcohol while house sitting.  That was the same night we pledged much money to the PTL Club (Jim and Tammy Faye Baaker) in Brother's name, so the alcohol consumption was not wasted on something frivolous.

10.  Practicing the piano.  

The most important thing, though, is that at the end of the day, every day, my dad was my number one fan.  But, there were days when it wasn't easy.

July 11, 2012 The Hits Just Keep on Comin'

Just so you don't think that my total knee recovery is going along without a hitch....apparently I have injured the posterior tibial tendon in my left ankle.

For those of you playing at home, it was my RIGHT knee that was replaced and it is my LEFT ankle that is pucked up.

So, I have this wonderful boot on my left foot and am back to using a walker.  My doctor is confident that this will do the trick in about 4 weeks.  *sigh*

It's true, if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

In the interest of full disclosure (I'm all about full disclosure, as you well know) it seems that the ankle injury is a result of overuse, i.e. using my left foot and ankle to life my entire fat ass in and out of the car and up and down stairs.  I my defense, what was I to do?  My right leg was not rising to the challenge and I had to be somewhat mobile, right?

Who knew I would pay for it later?

This was never discussed in Joint Camp.

July 10, 2012 My Dad's Birthday

Today would have been my dad's 87th birthday.  It got me thinking about all the things my dad loved about his life.  I decided to make a list.

87 Reasons Why My Dad Was Glad He Was Born

1.  Having 3 kids 

2. Same 3 kids being successful

3. Same 3 kids never being in jail (except for that one time in high school when I tried to spend the night in the Ford County jail.  Oh, that was not one of my brightest ideas.)

4. Being a grandpa to 3

5. Turning the jump rope for Kim and me (we were jump roping fools, I am here to tell you!)

6.Teaching me how to do a layup

7. Teaching me how to do a jump shot

8. Playing volleyball in the back yard

9, Going to the Tournament of Champions

10. Playing tether ball

11. Being the patient when Baby and I went through our "I Want to be a Nurse" stage

12. Mowing the yards (every house he lived in had amazing yards: front, back, side.  Green velvet, not a weed in sight.)

13. Having the best yards in Dodge City

14. Swimming with his kids after work at the Dodge City Country Club (I imagine he was tired and had other things to do, but when he would go to the pool with us after supper, we thought it was more fun than allowed by law,)

15. Taking me to Cimarron to pick up my bar exam results (I was too afraid to have them sent to Dad's address.  It was not a given that I would pass.)

16. Liberating France from Germany.  Single handedly.

17. Running his traps on Saturday mornings

18.Serving in the legislature as both a Republican and a Democrat

19. Being branded a "liberal" back in the 60's

20. Being proud of the brand

21. Travelling

22. Practicing law

23. Being a judge

24. Talking politics.  Always.  Talking politics.

25. Cooking on the grill

26. Running for office

27. Meeting George McGovern

28. Watching Roger grow up

29. Wondering about the role of a sociologist in modern day America

30. Arguing with Roger about that role

31. Secret recipe for hamburgers (it's the Tabasco)

32. Driving a Jeep in Utah (actually, driving a jeep anywhere.  When Dad was behind the wheel of a Jeep, you better hold on and hope for the best.  It was an adventure!)

33. Photography

34. Taking home movies

35. Green Mountain Falls, Colorado (1st 2 weeks of August, every year)

36. Reading.  Always reading.  

37. NPR

38. The New Yorker

39. Newspapers (In the house where I grew up, we got 3 daily papers and 4 on Sunday.  And we were expected to read them.)

40. Charter subscription holder to Sports Illustrated

41. Vodka and grapefruit juice

42. Charlie and Nellie

43. Al and Evelyn

44. Hid.  My dear stepmother who loved my dad.  Really, truly loved my dad.

45. Dead Horse Point, Utah.

46. Mexican food

47. Running for Attorney General in 1964

48. Running for Congress in 1974

49. Travelling to every county in Kansas (all 105!)

50. Red Demon football on Friday nights

51. Olympics

52. Attending Jimmy Carter's inauguration

53. Finally having his own swimming pool

54. Color television

55. Color television WITH REMOTE

56. White water rafting

57. Being president of the school board

58. Walking everywhere.  Every. Where.  Rain. Shine. Snow. Sleet. Hail. (You get the idea.)

59. Three kids following him to Washburn University

60. Cases that settled

61. Brown vs. Kansas State Highway Commission

62. KU basketball

63. Dodge City Community College sports

64. Folk music

65. Shakespeare

66. Dickens

67. "Les Miserables"

68. England

69. Winston Churchill

70. Family history

71. Civil War history

72. Teaching

73. Duke (the dog, not the university.  He loved that silly dog.)

74. Warshaw's Men's Wear

75. Hot. Strong. Coffee.

76. In his "Newt Rat" cup

77. A good cigar

78. Maps

79. Getting knocked down

80. Getting back up

81. Questioning

82. Curiosity

83. A hot day

84. A cold beer

85. Being an entrepreneur

86. College fight songs

87.  Kansas sunsets 

My dad packed a lot of living into his too short 76 year long life.  But, I'm glad he did.

Happy Birthday, Dad.  I love you!

July 9, 2012 Hard Work

 I know this looks like a mess, and it is, sort of.  But it's an organized mess.

You see, there is a problem in the closet.  The rod that holds my clothes is about to come out of the wall.  Jay is coming over tonight to help CB fix it once and for all.  (CB, bless his heart, has tried to fix it with limited success.)

So all the clothes had to come off the rod and put on the bed.  I decided to go through them and throw out the stuff that was stained or torn or both.   Anything I haven't worn in a year is getting donated to Goodwill.  (There's a new Goodwill store in Manhattan and I know they are dying for my stuff.  I just know it!)


I worked up a sweat sorting all this crap but I got it done.  Now, if I can just get CB to do the same thing, but I'm not holding my breath.  And his clothes rod is not falling down, so there really is no sense of urgency.  


Oh, and yes, the curtains are tied in knots.  It just seemed like the thing to do.

 On an unrelated note:  I had PT today, so I made chocolate chip cookies for Steve, hoping that he'd keep me as a patient in spite of the AARP sign from yesterday.   A plate of warm chocolate chip cookies can buy forgiveness for a lot of things.  This time was no exception.

July 8, 2012 Hey Steve - It's Your Birthday!

 

Today is the 40th birthday of one of my physical therapists.  Steve Land is an exceptional therapist, second only to his wife, Angie.  For the past 3 months, Steve has shown a great deal of patience, knowledge and care in his treatment of me.  I, on the other hand, have cried, used words one does not typically use in polite company and generally caused him to question his choice of career.

In honor of Steve's birthday, Luke and I hung this sign outside Heartland PT.  It was the least I could do for someone who has done so much for me.

 You know what's the worst thing about turning 40?  Everyone coming in thinking you have turned 50 because 50 is the age that AARP starts recruiting you.  

My bad.

July 7, 2012 Kansas Did Something Right

Beginning on July 1, 2012, bars in Kansas can, once again, have happy hour drink specials.

Remember back in the day when you could go out after work/school and have a couple drinks (or more) without breaking the bank?  Those were the days.

My favorite happy hour story:  I was in law school, Luke was a little guy, I was a single mom and money was very tight.  A bunch of us went out for a drink one Friday.  We determined where we would go by which bar had free food and cheap drinks.  A place that had free tacos got our business on this night.  What we saved on food, we spent on drinks.

After we were all toasted (yes, Luke was with a babysitter.  I wasn't dragging him around with me.  This time.  I kid, I kid.) we ended up at the Cedar Cinema which was the local XXX rated movie theatre.  Girls got in free (so much free stuff that night...it was amazing!)

Picture this: 10 law students at a porn movie, yelling legal advice to the actors on the screen.

Yes, we were asked to leave.

I remember only that the floor was sticky.

You're welcome.

July 6, 2012 K State Pride

I go by this corner every day on my way to work.  For some reason, perhaps a residual feeling of patriotism, the flags caught my eye this morning.

Fortunately, I had a red light so I didn't have to back up traffic to get this picture.  But you know I would have, right?

July 4, 2012 Celebrate America Wamego Style Part 2

It was a 4th of July for the books, if I do say so myself.

CB played golf.

Luke studied then had a friend come for the night.

I read, napped, rinse, repeat.

Momma and her cousin came for dinner and fireworks.  We had an all American meal: hot dogs, potato salad, baked beans, cucumber and onions, and corn on the cob.  What could be better?

Momma and Nola decided they wanted to go to the ball fields to see the fireworks.  For the last several years we've watched the show from our driveway but by doing so, we missed the ground works which we've been told are spectacular.

Because half a million (or thereabouts) people will be at the ball fields as well, we had a plan.  Luke and his buddy would get Uncle Jay's golf cart and take Momma to the show.  CB would tote Nola then come back to the house and get me.  

The plan worked perfectly and we were all there for 35 minutes of the most glorious fireworks ever shot off in the history of the universe.  What made it even better is that one of my physical therapists is on the pyro crew responsible for shooting off the fireworks.  It was almost as if I were doing it myself.  Almost.

Here you go:

What you can't tell from this picture is that there are 4 or 5 international people all filming the fireworks show.  They weren't really watching it, just holding their phones up filming the entire thing.  I thought it was hilarious.

We agreed that being at the ball diamonds with the multitudes is the place to be when the sky explodes.

July 3, 2012 Celebrate America Wamego Style, Part 1

At 3:30 today, I sold my Mazda.  When I bought it, it had 6,000 miles on it.  When I sold it, it had 192,000 miles.  I think I got my money's worth.

 Here is my car as it leaves Manhattan for the last time.  I cried a little bit.

Did you see the moon tonight?  It was big and orange and more beautiful than any firework display.

The guy who lives across the street from my mom has a huge fireworks display on the 3rd every year.  Thousands of people come from all over and cram into Mom's yard, the streets and the neighborhood park.

The fireworks lit up the sky.

The rocket's red glare,

the bombs bursting in air!

And, there's cake.

July 2, 2012 Car Sale

Have you ever seen those ads in the newspaper that say "We Buy Junk Cars"?  Ever wonder if they really do buy junk cars?  Ever had a junk car you needed to unload?

I found myself in the position of needing to find a suitable burial spot for my Mazda so I called one of the businesses to see if indeed they really did buy junk cars.

They do!  For $200!  And they will even come and pick up the deceased.

Just like Swaim Funeral Home in Dodge City.

Although Swaims charged $75 to pick up my dad and the junk car place picked up the Mazda for nothing.

July 1, 2012 Can't Photograph Smell

I intended to take several pictures of my second effort with pulled pork.  My camera was in my bag and my bag was in my car and you all know that I am not about to haul my fat, crippled ass all the way out to the garage just to take a picture of some raw meat.  (However, all bets are off when I am healed and walking like a real person.  When that happens, I am back to taking pictures of crazy shit.  I'll try to give you some notice.)

Here's how it went:  I brined a pork shoulder for 8 hours yesterday.  Beginning at 7:30 a.m. this morning , I put a dry rub on the pork and popped that bad boy a slow oven for what was suppose to be 12 hours.  Fifteen hours later, the internal temperature of the meat was 4 degrees short of where it was suppose to be according to the recipe.  I was getting sleepy and what's 4 degrees, anyway?

Here is where the smell comes in - my house smelled amazing.  It was like living in the backroom of Famous Dave's.

Anyway, I turned the oven off, as directed and let the meat sit in the oven until the internal temperature went down to 170 degrees.  After 2 hours (TWO HOURS!!) the temperature had fallen 10 degrees.  This had all the makings of a very long night.

I decided that sleep was more important than following a recipe (at my age, sleep is second only to a daily bowel movement) so I took the meat out and shredded it.

It. Was. The. Best. Pulled. Pork. Ever. In. The. World.  End. Of. Story.

and it only took 17 hours!

June 30, 2012 Something New

My contribution to the 4th of July celebration at my mom's is going to be pulled pork.  I had 3 options:  try a new recipe in the CrockPot; try a new recipe in the oven or buy pulled pork at Cox Brothers BBQ.

No, of course I didn't choose the easy route.  I chose, instead, BOTH other options!

This afternoon I put a pork shoulder in the Crockpot with some onions and a cup of ginger ale.  It was to cook for 8 hours.  Sounds easy enough except that it wasn't, easy enough.

First of all, the lid didn't fit quite right because of the onions, but I didn't realize it until 2 hours in.  So, basically those 2 hours were for nothing.  I fixed that issue and relaxed, letting the slow cooker work it's magic.

Then, at 8:30, the power went off.  For 2 hours.  Damn it.

Luke put the meat in the fridge so I wouldn't be serving a side order of food poisoning with the pulled pork  Tomorrow morning, I'll finish cooking it.

Cox Brothers is sounding pretty good right about now.

Then, I prepared a brine for the other pork shoulder I bought.  The second recipe calls for the meat to be brined, then cooked low and slow all day tomorrow.

We'll see how it all turns out.

Stay tuned.

June 29, 2012 Hire It Done

At first glance this looks like my living room.  But look again.  Closer this time.

See that?  No dust.  Carpet clean.  Cobwebs gone. Shit no longer in the middle of the floor.

Can it really be my living room?

Why, yes, yes it can!

I hired it done.


Thanks to Craigslist, I found 2 students who wanted to clean houses.  After spending a day at my house, though, they might reconsider their chosen extra-curricular activity.  It's been awhile since I was able to give my home the attention it deserves.

It was wonderful to come home to a clean house - a really clean house.  Now, my goal is to keep ahead of the dirt and clutter.  Actually, that's always been my goal, but for the first time, I have a head start!

And the bathrooms....you should see the bathrooms!

June 28, 2012 Job Well done

Remember last summer when I made "Knock You on Your Ass Slush"?  It's full of limeade, lemonade, tea, sugar, water and VODKA?  Remember that?

I made some this summer.  In this very container.  This container, one week ago, was full of slush.  Giggle inducing, temperature lowering slush.

Today, this container is empty.

The slush is gone.

I was not robbed.  

I simply giggled my way through the week.  And never broke a sweat.