Long story short (Oh. Right. Like that's ever going to happen around here...) - - I signed up for a continuing legal education (CLE) seminar in downtown Kansas City today. What was I thinking? Did I forget that I get lost EVERY SINGLE time I drive in KC? And that this has been the case since 1987? And that it doesn't matter how many maps I have or how many times I rehearse the trip in my mind? And that rush hour traffic makes me throw up a little?
I must have forgotten all of that, because at 5 a.m. I was on my way to KC hoping like hell that the 7 maps, the GPS, the hand written directions and the MapQuest directions would be enough to get me where I was going.
It was, in fact, enough. Except for the GPS which was in the trunk of my car. I don't know why.
Naturally, the first place I had to visit upon arriving an hour and a half early to the seminar was the ladies' room. Naturally, I used the handicapped stall because, after all, I am handicapped. Oh. Yes. I. Am. And I have the parking placard to prove it.
I thought it was interesting that this high dollar law firm on the 29th floor of a modern building in downtown Kansas City provided Lysol spray in the bathroom stall. I mean, one can never have enough odor covering, bacteria killing spray in a bathroom stall, right?
But, later that day, I returned to the ladies' room and used a different stall. This is important only because the "regular" stalls did not have Lysol spray in them.
What does this mean?
Only handicapped people do things in the bathroom that require Lysol? That's really not very nice. Maybe the Lysol budget has been cut and there can only be one can of Lysol per bathroom. Instead of asking for toilet paper, the ladies just ask is someone can pass them the Lysol.
Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you were there, doing what you do, minding your own business, and all of sudden, a hand appears under the wall of your stall. The hand is holding the Lysol can. I would shit little green apples.
But I'd be in the right place.
